layan jelah...

=/..Kepala sgt sakit..inilah akibatnya org yg suka bertangguh kerja ke last minute, dn mlmnya kena 'gedebak-gedebuk' nak siapkan assignment, dan settlekan itu ini..kerah otak last minute, padanlah dgn muka...huhu..Why aa naz, never learn from mistakes...

and now, tercongok lagi dlm lab comp, siapkan script writing utk sesi 'lakonan' hari Isn ni. Ehhe..bende2 gini aku mmg semangat,agak2nya kalau ade kerusi 'director' dgn vest dan beretnya sekali..confirm2 aku duduk dan pakai punya..haha. =D dan alhamdulillah, idea aku diterima baik. Siap ada rehearsal lagi hari ini, ..ehhe, kalau ikutkan hati, teringin gak nak berlakon sekali, tapi script aku buat, tak eloklah aku conquer semua. Kasi can-lah org lain perform plak. Teringat pengalaman berlakon zmn sekolah, aku agak minat theater-performance esp acting, tapi watak2 aku dulu sungguhlah membosankan. Masa sekolah rendah, jadi Sultan ( sbb sekolah perempuan, kalau semua nak jadi Tuan puteri, sapa nak jadi Sultannya..),dan pegang watak budak2 nakal dlm persembahan kelas. Lps tu masa sekolah menengah, pun berkesempatan berlakon lagi. Ini semua hasil kreativiti Cikgu Zainab, Cikgu Bhs Melayu yg sgt aku suka sbb karekter dia unik..( husband dia ajar Kemahiran Hidup, setiap kali husband dia melintas tepi kelas, kitorg yg 'iyo2' tersengih menggiat dia..CIkgu Zainab buat 'dek 'je..cehh..). Ohh ya..lakonan tadi, melakonkan watak nakhoda kapal dlm drama si Tanggang ( which was, mcm 2 saat je berlakon..huhu..) . Drama paling best ialah ttg anak derhaka jugaklah, aku lah jd anak derhaka tu..fuyyo..sgt seronok masa tu. ..cuma masa menangis meratapi kematian ibu, aku tergelak2 sikit..( apa ke taknya, si ibu yg sepatutnya 'mati' terbujur boleh bergerak2 dlm selimut, sbb ketawa..terus berkocak2 semua pelakon2 kat situ..).

Hmm..scriptwriting is also among the thing i found myself very interested in..basically anything that involves me expressing words on papers. And funny, last night, i was more keen on completing the script rather than concentrating on my perio paper...( some revelation ..hopefully takde Doktor2 aku yg baca blog nih..ehhe ). Kenapa..sebab suka. Simple. Sebab aku mmg suka. Suka yg kdg2 sanggup buat kalau org suruh, sanggup bersengkang mata, sanggup perabih duit kat cc mcm sekarang nih...

Dulu masa sekolah, ada seorg kwn yg jd editor buletin program tertentu, meminta aku tuliskan utk dia..kiranya mcm " aku nyanyi dia gerakkan mulut'. Tamat program, dia belanja makanan fav aku, 'roti kacang'. Mmg tak kisah..sanggup berjaga mlm siapkan, walhal aku peserta program. Dan ada pernah seorg cikgu minta tolong tuliskan surat utk seorg kwn dia ( heheh..) , kiranya aku tulis berpandukan point2 yg dia beri. Dan kerana minat jugak..aku ada tulis 2-3 kajang skrip, konon2nya nak masuk pertandingan majalah atau radio..tapi, tak pernahnya siap,,sbb ada aje halangan ( dn halangan paling besar adlh suka bertangguh dn tak tekun )..tup2..dh tarikh tutup pertandingan. Hmm..having said all these, buat aku terfikir plak..entah mcmana boleh tercampak kat 'dentistry' aku pun tak tahu...

ewahh..dlm sakit2 kepala, sambil2 nak siapkan kerja, dh sepanjang ini aku bercerita. Ada org terlelap ke..? Bangun! Dh nak stop dh...Kepala masih sakit, nak gi cari PAnadol. Risau pulak fikirkan elective project aku nih, kelmarin ke UKM Bangi, walupun camp induk ,tapi mcm tpt asing bg aku yg hanya jejak sana sethn sekali ms pesta convo. Bende yg dicari tak dpt, dhlah sesat2 kat situ..kenalah berikhtiar dgn lebih 'ganbatte' lagi..krn masa bergerak laju, kalau aku terhegeh2 lagi, alamatnya mmg tak selamat..okay guys..tata..!

"..life doens't have to be perfect, to be wonderful.."

p/s : 9 sept..ehhe, teringat thn 1999, ramai sungguh org nak kahwin pd tarikh ni,..sbb nakkan angka tarikh tu yg bg mrk jrg dpt jumpa ( 9-9-99). Hm..kalau aku nak mcm tu jugak, nak tunggu thn apa ya...20-07-2007..fuyyo..cop!Hahahaa..'iyo2' je..=p

Go Power Rangers..! Bergabung tenaga..!

im missing her already..=/.

imah dh selamat bertolak ke KLIA ( dan agak menyesal sbb tak ikut sekali, hanya melambai kat pintu rumah je..iskks ). Bie pun dh balik ke hostel di Seremban, ..hmm..life back to ordinary.

That's the thing about family, the 'attachment' that binds us together, the trust and love, the sense of belonging, the feelings that u dont feel towards other ppl. Bagi aku, keluarga ni satu anugerah Tuhan yg tiada ganti dan tolok bandingnya. I found love, peace and happiness being around ppl most close to me, and these ppl are my family. Im blessed,..indeed ..with this valuable gift from You, thank you Allah. Ya Allah..peliharalah kami, dunia dan akhirat..aminn.

Aku dibesarkan dlm keluarga yg sederhana, tak kaya tak susah. Sedang-sedang aja. Sedari kecil kawan2 rapat adalah adik beradik aku, best friend pun mereka, bergaduh sampai kena rotan dan denda dgn ayah pun dgn mereka. Mungkin sbb jarak usia antara kami pun tak jauh mana, jd kerapatan zaman kanak2 berlanjutan sehingga dewasa.

Aktiviti yg biasa, berkumpul di meja makan dan borak2, dengan gelak ketawa, yg kdg2 buatkan ayah kena naikkan volume tv, sbb suara kitorg lagi kuat..ehhe. Berkumpul tgk dvd/cd dlm bilik, dn pasti akan ada suara2 skema.. " ehh, takleh makan dlm biliklah, semutlah nanti..." atau.." shhshh..jgn berckp lah, habis tak dgr dialog td..". Dan kalau tengok tv plak, akan ada yg suka pegang remote tv taknak lepas2 sbb takut org tukar channel, ada plak yg suka nak tukar2 channel time iklan yg men'tension'kan juga kdg2..ehhe, yg berebut nak tgk rancangan fav msg2 dan kena buat negotiation pulak utk leraikan etc. Bende2 remeh dan kecil yg pd aku, sgt membahagiakan bila dikenang sorg2. Paling best, kalau dh lewat malam masih tak tido, mulalah selongkar dapur dan buat maggi, hadap semangkuk besar share 2-3 kepala..slurp2. Tidur beramai2 depan tv tepi beranda, akan ada yg dh terlelap atas sofa, yg mengerekot dlm selimut lupa diri..dn esok pagi ayah akan turunkan langsir, utk elakkan silau cahaya matahari mengganggu lena kami. Hmm..agak2nya kat rumah baru nnti, merasa lagi ke tido atas 'toto' ramai2 nih..

di kesempatan ni, i would like to say, from the deepest part of my heart..( err,,im not good in this..), to Kakak, Imah, Abe, Yah , Bie and Adik, that i really love all of you, really2 love..very2 much. Thank you for making my boring life more fun and happening, for ur trust and confidence in me, for ur patience as u listen to me, ur never-ending helps to all my silly problems and mischiefs ive put myself into since kid till now..but most importantly, for ur existence in my life...thank you very much. I cant express how lucky i am to have all of u as my brothers and sisters...=].

okaylah..im getting all melodramatic plak..esok Adik UPSR, and next weekend, i promised him ,that ill bring him out, to 'ronggeng2', and enjoy his freedom after exams..ehhe. Which, unfortunately and sadly enuff, im nearly 'kopak' now..thanks to my ever-not-smart-shopping hobby...ehhe...

a little something

Got this from a friend..

''..Time always moves, a little slower when life is down, a little faster when it's looking up. Working towards something is always good, working for a dream is always healthy. Setting a goal in your life and working for it is something everyone should do. But you should also grow within those periods, experience life, open your heart to those around you, and learn to forgive those who wrong you. A heart that forgives, is a heart that is at peace.."

"concentrate on the good things "- This Boy's Life

mama kata.." dalam hidup ni, kita takkan dapat semua yang kita inginkan..."
hmm, betul tu....

seorg kawan kata.." mungkin Tuhan tak bagi apa yg kita nak, sebab apa yg kita mahu tu, tak baik untuk kita.."
mungkin ada betulnya...

dan Al-Quran berkata...
."..kemudian bila kamu tidak menyukai mereka, ( maka bersabarlah ) kerana mungkin kamu tidak menyukai sesuatu, padahal Allah menjadikan padanya kebaikan yang banyak..." - Surah an-Nisa, ayat 19.
"... boleh jadi apa yg kamu suka itu tidak baik bagi kamu, dan boleh jadi apa yg kamu tidak suka itu baik bagi kamu. Sesungguhnya Aku ( ALLAH ) Maha Mengetahui dan kamu tidak mengetahui..." -

hmm..reality might not turns out the way we dreamt and envisioned our whole life, but it's okay, actually it's more than okay, it is wonderful if we choose to see it positively. Like what my mom always told me.." ..semua benda ni bergantung pada pemikiran kita, macamana kita fikir, mcm tula dia..". Learn to be grateful with what life offers to u, be optimist and fight the urge of ur inner critics inside. Believe that whatever happens in life, it's always for our own good as Allah is the one who knows best, and remember that there's always blessings in disguise...

Just concentrate on the good things. Smile to the world, and the entire universe will smile back at you..=]

.."...it's about finding the reason to why it happens.." - quoted from a wonderful friend ;].

a time to relax

had ortho session this morning, review patient's progress. Unfortunately, dear patient is not really compliant, causing him with no changes in occlusion before and during treatment. Iskk..kesian pulak tgk dia kena sound dgn doktor td, which secretly thinking..i should be doing the same.Be more strict to my patient. Hmm..

anway..spending my time in cc, nak tunggu zohor, and balik rumah. All my siblings are at home, precious moment mcm ni should not be wasted. It's not easy to gather all seven of us, since some only managed to be around once a year. Sometimes it occurs to me, how will it be, when all of us have started our own family, some might be staying far away, when things are different from now..hmm..

klah..need to relax and have some time alone. Thought of going to times square and spend some time in Borders, but before that, i have to go and buy 'roti john', 5 bungkus of 'roti john' to be exact,..huh..an order from adik2, sheesh..the sight of me juggling 5 'roti john's, along with my bag of books home, that's sure will steal some glances to me, oohh..how very attractive. Wondering what ppl might be thinking, seeing me hogging bundles of foods..hmm,perhaps.. " wuihh..bnyk nya dia ni makan.."..or.." mak aii, sampai 5 batang, makan sorg ke..?". Heheh, suddenly a vision of me standing in the monorail with a tag dangling from my neck saying.." INI UNTUK 'SINGA2' LAPAR DI RUMAH, HARAP MAKLUM". Ehhe.,,one thing about buying a lot of roti john, and carrying it home in a public transport, namely lrts or monorails, is that everyone will have a share of its aroma,and that's enough to make some ppl's tummy growling with hunger, and others salivating furiously. Minta maap yaa...tak boleh nak tolong..ehhe =]. Adik beradik punya pasal..

oklah..need to go and pray...and be home by this evening...and makan dinner kat rumah..and ...yahhoooo! =D

hal surau

atr masalah yg dihadapi di surau awam ( specifically, surau kat Shopping complexes.. =/ ) :

1. kecik yg amat. Sampai kdg2 berlaga2 atr satu sama lain, "engkau tengok aku, aku tengok engkau"...hmm. Bagus jugak kalau pak/mak menteri intai sikit kedhaifan tempat sujud di shopping complex ni. Kalau bangunan lain boleh bina dgn gahnya, apalah salahnya peruntukkan ruang yg baik sikit utk surau. Jangan lupa, selagi mana manusia menggunakan ruang binaan kita tu utk solat, selagi itulah pahalanya mengalir pd kita...

2. kebajikan tak terpelihara. Dengan kotor dan bau yg tak menyenangkan, ditambah pulak telekung yg disediakan ibarat tak pernah menjenguk mesin basuh..hmm, pendek kata, kalau nak khusyuk sket sembahyang, bawaklah telekung sendiri bila keluar.

3. telatah sesetengah manusia, yg kdg2 buatkan aku terfikir, .."alahai..". Dalam ruang sempit, tak perlulah duduk berlama2 untuk berbual, dengan prihatin bangun dan berkalih tempat utk beri ruang kepada org lain pulak utk sembahyang. Itu belum kira yg berbual dgn suara tinggi lagi..( issk, yg mana kdg2 buat aku terasa sgt lah berdosanya aku..kalau aku tak terikut2 sekali dlm 'perbincangan',aku tidak pula melarang. Lantas..sama2 kongsi 'saham'nya... )

4. one more thing, ermm..ni bukan masalah surau sgt, tp since dh berckp ttg surau nih..ill just write along. Aku faham, kain sembahyang surau awam ni mmg agak singkat sikit, jd kita yg menggunakannya kenalah alert dn pandai2 sendiri, utk elakkan dr kaki terdedah semasa sujud. Juga, kepada manusia2 lain yg terlihat kain sembahyang mana2 hamba Allah tersingkap hingga menampakkan kaki mereka, cepat2 tutupkan semula...jgn kita biarkan dan tengok aje, akan tak sah sembahyangnya dan dia kena solat semula.

Wallahu'alam....hari ni tercakap psl ni plak..sekadar komentar aku yg suka mengomen..ehhe..=]. Bye fellas!

jerebu

Jerebu sgt kuat hari ni. Dahsyatnya sampai udara berbau lain dr biasa. Sebaik keluar dr klinik, mata rs kabur dan pedih. Masa berjalan ke arah bas tadi, ternampak 2-3 org memakai mask, dan yg lain kelihatan buru2 berjalan, cuba mengelak dr terlalu lama terdedah kepada udara tak sihat ni.

Banyakkan minum air masak,dan kerap basuh muka. Kalau takde hal penting, elakkan dari keluar. Penangan jerebu, bgn pagi td rs sakit tekak yg melampau, ikutkan hati nak aje berselubung balik atas katil.Iskk...bila lah nak reda suasana kabut dan suram nih...

Macam2 dlm fikiran aku. Nak diluahkan semua kat sini, takde lah aku se'bold' dan seterbuka itu, tak semua isi hati aku kongsikan secara online begini. Baru aku tahu, kenapa pelajar2 Akademi Fantasia tu kdg2 mcm org tak betul bercakap dgn kamera,..rupa2nya agak seronok dan release sikit perasaan bila bercakap atau berbicara begini. Macam bercakap dgn kamera, kita tahu ada org melihat dan mendengar kita di sana, tapi kita tak tahu siapa. Perasaan yg tak sama seperti bercakap dgn org kita kenal. Seperti menulis kat sini..'berkomunikasi' dgn org2 yg aku tak tahu sapa, tak tahu ada ke orgnya,entah bagaimana rupa, ...dll..

" berkabus di luar, jerebu lagi hati sendiri.."

nak kawan dulu

“ …kami nak kawan dulu..” – adlin aman ramlie

Petikan dari temubual dgn Adlin Aman Ramlie ( ; ] ), dlm akhbar Pancaindera last two weeks. Kan best kalau aku boleh buat statement mcm tu dgn clear dan mudah…kan best kalau aku setelus dan setegas dia. Lebih best kalau orang2 sekeliling faham dan meredhainya, dan tak kecoh2 mengenainya.. Kan best kalau begitu.

Aku rasa begitulah sepatutnya. Kawan - kawan dulu. Kerana melalui perkawanan inilah, kita kenal hati budi, kita boleh bercerita dengan satu sama lain dengan rileks dan terbuka tanpa melibatkan sebarang unsur perasaan.Yang mana melalui berkawan2 ini, masing2 menjadi diri sendiri, tiada berselindung atau nak control macho atau ayu, berkongsi kisah masing2, pendapat dan buah fikiran, bertelagah apabila tidak sekepala dalam isu2 tertentu, dan saling membantu untuk kebaikan bersama. Itulah bahagia dan gembiranya apabila kita berkawan. Dan persahabatan akan berterusan, apa jua akan jadi pada hari esok, yg penting ikatan sebagai kawan sudah ada dan wujud.

Dan melalui persahabatan inilah, keserasian, kesesuaian dan persefahaman dapat kita nilai dan perhati. Melaluinya dapat kita congak2, mungkinkah dapat dianjak kedudukan ‘kawan’ ini ke tangga yg lebih tinggi dan istimewa letaknya? Melalui berkawan juga, kita lebih mengenali diri sendiri, mengamati kepelbagaian ragam manusia di sekeliling kita, dan lebih memahami karenah dunia. Kita juga turut dapat lebih mengenal keluarga dan latar belakang dia. Pendekkan kata yang panjang, segalanya2 bermula dengan kawan.

Jadi..berkawan-kawanlah dulu, samada perkawanan ini membawa kepada perhubungan yang lebih intim atau tidak, sekurang2nya dia telah menjadi kawan kita. Cuma yg menjadi masalahnya ialah mulut2 org yg tak boleh kita nak tutup atau kawal buah butir percakapan mereka. Ada wujud golongan yg hobinya bergossip, dan pantang tengok Adam dan Hawa berkawan rapat, mulalah nak jual cerita. Entahlah ..mulut org, bukan di bawah kawalan kita.

Apa2 pun, ...berkawanlah dulu, ...

complicated mind

my mom once said to me “…jangan suka buat teori2 macam tu, nanti makan diri sendiri..”..Yup, I can feel it’s ‘eating’ me rite now.

I never knew that those silly theories ( ..silly they are, I know..) that were created unconsciously became sthg that I quite believed in. And when u believed in sthg, and sudddenly someone significant in ur life told u that it was all crap and rubbish, u have quite a hard time restructuring and reprogramming ur mind to what is perceived as the right way to think it. Am I making any sense here..? never mind…

Since I was kid, naughty, loud and bullyish..there’s always a small part in me, most of the time hidden and unnoticed. The side in me who enjoys watching ppl, as I waited for my father to come pick me up. Who likes to look out from the car windows, and ponders to myself as I look in other people’s cars. Who are they in life, rich people..? happy people..? they do seem happy. Where are they going? What kind of life they have, and are they husband and wife..? They do look good together. The tendency to observe human beings around me, up until now..i still do that.

And unknowingly, from mere observation, my mind worked creating its own philosophy judging from what I see. Smtmes a theory was made up. At first, it was just a way to fill up the time as I was waiting, but later on..it became a natural thing to do. Anytime, anywhere. I just hope that it can be considered as quite a reliable products of my thinking, that might benefit others ..but sadly enough, it is not. And ive come to a point in life, where I have to accept that life is just not like that. It doesnt work the way ive pictured and theorized all my life. Some have good life, others are not that fortunate. Some ppl are lucky enough to meet their soulmate, others don’t, and not all marriages are blissful and like fairy-tales. And most important thing is, superficial things that i see from car windows or while waiting at the bus stop, it doesnt truly represent the actual whole story. And also..life doesn’t work in one same way. There’s not only one road for everyone, every person in this whole universe have their very own story, each possess their own unique history.

Well..guess, there’s still much more to learn..

“ life doesn’t have to be very complex. In the past, I used to analyse every tiny detail and make my life very complicated. Not anymore. I have come to understand that sometimes things just happen and we have to accept them “ – Craig Fong

p/s :..oohh..when can I think like this Craig guy, and stop critically analysing every single thing that’s going on around me, it’ll sure make my life much, much..easier..and happier.

wedding gift hunt..

huh..never know shopping for wedding gift can be this hard..=/. (and as usual, im making it harder by being indecisive and clueless of what to buy..great.)

two of my wonderful friends held a kenduri kahwin this Sabtu. Hehe..i still smile recalling the times when we were still in school, when the girl would shyly talk about the lucky boy, and i remember that i didnt think twice to nod aggreably, showing my approval and encourage her to keep the relationship going. Even then, i know that they will last long..( gee..look who's talking, speak for urself , naz..=[.)

buying gift is not among my expertise, especially when i have the tendency to spend half and hour comparing two things, and lastly decided not to buy any. I'll go to another store and the whole cycle of scrutinizing, meticulously inspecting plus seriously thinking of whether to buy this or that repeated all over again, fuuh..that is enough to exhaust me, and usually resulted with me going home empty-handed. Like what happen yesterday. Went out with both my sisters, they did help in giving some helpful tips and ideas, what to buy for married couples..something that would benefit a marriage life, not too childish not too oldies, as the couples are only my age. Buying pots and pans or set of Arcopal like what my mother always buy for our relatives doenst seem like a very interesting idea for me, ..i was thinking of something more 'young', more fresh and ..nice. Not that im saying pots and pans are not a nice gift, they are very useful..but..something else. Ermm..frame? Photoalbums? towels with embroidered words like' happy wedding day' on it? or teddy bears, a pair of teddy bears, male and female wearing wedding costumes..? Now that's very matured.

Back in schooling days, when they have this exchanging gifts thing, every year, some of them would make list of things they want, and they would announce it so that the person who's supposed to buy them gift will 'accidentally' know, and would give them what they want. Heheh..so, that's the definition of 'gift and present' ehh..? Hmm..i dunno, there's always a two-way of seeing things. By doing that, u are making it easier for both parties, u get what u want, and the other person will be free from any headaches in thinking of what to buy for u. But for me, i dont really like saying out what i want as my gift, as i like the surprise when i open a beautifully wrapped box, excitedly thinking.." what's inside?". Plus..the idea of gift and present, lose some of its meaningfulness and thoughtfulness when we ask for it, ermm ...in a way - lah. When i was in Form 3, i got a gift from a boy for the ecxhanging gift ritual, someone i didnt really know, i mean he's my friend but we are not close,and i think he felt the same towards me. When he handed me the box, i remember he said .." im sorry, i dont know what to buy for u,". Remembered the excitement as i couldnt wait to open the gift, the feeling of not knowing what's hidden inside the box. He got me a cute organizer, just the kind i like, the type i would buy for myself. And i still have it, along with the note inside =].

okaylah..so back to the wedding gift hunt. What to buy nih?..=/..

a memorable trip...

salaam everybody..! =D

Back in Kl, after a week in Perlis plus another 2 days in Langkawi...one word to describe the experience..awesome! InsyaAllah, ill go there again one day, and i think i will never able to forget the wonderful ppl ive met in Perlis. Surrounded by paddy fields, accepted like family members, org2 PErlis mmg best, ramah2 dan mesra semuanya. And oh yeah.. one thing noted during my stay in Perlis..tak pernah sekalipun lekat dlm traffic jam,kereta meluncur laju je.. sthg yg sgt unlikely to happen in Kl. Thank u very much for everything..PErlis best!

And Langkawi is a must-visit place. I trully enjoyed my stay there, i went island hopping, ( and very much regret not getting the chance to try parasailing..=/)..i tried my skill in fishing and managed to catch one fish..heheh =p, had a ride in cable car, go shopping like maniac in Pekan Kuah..but the most joyful moment, was the stroll along the beach during sunset, memijak pasir halus di Pantai Beras Basah, merasai mainan ombak di kaki, melihat lautan luas sgt, macam takde hujungnya..hmm..i really love oceans and beaches..=]. ill update my photos in Perlis and LAngkawi in Friendster soon..TApi biasalah, lps balik main pantai, muka pun gelap semacam je, masa main tu tak ingat dunia..

okaylah..till later ya, and frankly speaking, kinda miss u guys..glad to be back..=]

benar kata pepatah lama

tak kenal maka tak cinta

kini Perlis ibarat saudara

dekat di hati hampir di jiwa

merenung lautan luas terbentang

sendiri merasai damai dan tenang

bumi Langkawi pasti kukenang

Panjang usiaku, satu hari ku ulang datang...

di bumi Perghlihh...!

have lots to tell, tp kat tpt org..tgh round2 tetiba jumpa cyber cafe, terus melonjak masukk..=D..

so..here i am, kat Perlis Indera Kayangan..nanti balik KL..kita story naa...

so..wish me luck here, panas dan penat..tapi sgt seronok...

p/s : seminggu dok sini, boleh speaking Perghlihh la lps nih...=p

cemburu dan perempuan

Cemburu dan perempuan..mcm agak closely linked to each other. Walaupun lelaki pun ada cemburunya, ..entah kenapa, masyarakat amnya lebih suka menghubungkan istilah ini dengan kaum hawa.

Cemburu, iri hati dan hasad dengki..perempuan2. Setakat 23 thn hidup nih, i had a few share of experiences berhadapan dgn karenah manusia begini. Cemburu melihat kelebihan org lain, dengki dan iri hati yang mengundang kepada memburukkan, mengata dan bermasam muka. Kadang2 kesian jugak kat org kuat dengki nih, begitu rendahkah nilai diri dia sampai hanya dpt nampak dan pandang keistimewaan org lain. Tu yg kdg2 berkawan dgn org lelaki lebih menarik, takde bende remeh-temeh mcm nih..

Aku pernah baca satu novel ‘Cemburu Seorg Perempuan’, quite a nice story, Cuma agak tragiklah..yg membuatkan aku terfikir, “betulke manusia boleh jadi se'gila' itu bila dikuasai cemburu?”. Itulah pentingnya akal menguasai perasaan, iman menjadi bekalan, kerana nafsu kalau dibiarkan menjadi raja, memang akan binasa.

Sebenarnya terlintas utk menulis ttg isu ni, bila mengenangkan patient tadi. Entah apa angin ribut, sejak dua menjak ni, kalau dia dtg utk rawatan, isteri dia akan mengekor sama. Siap duduk kat tepi dental chair, tengok aku rawat husband dia. Heheh..amused ada, naik rimas pun ada, hai..sampai mcm tu sekali ke tak percaya kat laki. Suami dia yg merupakan pesakit paling compliant aku, pernah berbisik memberitahu, isterinya kuat cemburu. Aku hanya senyum, macam2 lah ragam org ni. Suami yg dh menghampiri setengah abad, layak dipanggil pakcik, tak payahlah nak dirisaukan apa. Cuma yelah..manusia, lain org, lainlah hatinya. Ikut suka lah..asal tak ganggu aku buat keje sudah..

Sama jugak kesnya dgn seorg kwn, yg turut membekam rs cemburu, sepanjang aku berorganisasi dgn ‘pakwe’ dia. Kalau muka dia masam, menjeling tajam tak pasal2 pada aku tuh,..ha, adelah tak kena kat mana2 tu. Biar berbuih mulut aku menerangkan, esok lusa dia ‘jeles’ lagi. Entahlah..agaknya bila rasa sayang dah teramat, membuatkan rasa cemburu hinggap bila melihat org ‘kepunyaan’ rapat dengan org lain. Mungkin kot. Cemburu, bolehkah dijadikan nilaian dan ukuran sedalam mana rasa sayang kita pd seseorg..?

Yg pasti, rasa cemburu tidak salah, malah ia adalah lumrah, perasaan yg akan terbit sekali – sekala dalam melayari perhubungan dgn manusia lain. Aisyah r.a pun mencemburui Khadijah, walaupun beliau sudah tiada di sisi RAsulullah s.a.w. Siti Sarah turut mencemburui Siti Hajar, yg mampu melahirkan zuriat utk Nabi Ibrahim, lantas membuatkan Ibrahim membawa Siti HAjar dan anaknya Ismail, ke tempat lain. Cuma biarlah cemburu yg berpada2, ibarat secubit garam atau gula buat penyedap makanan. Kalau berlebihan, makanan jd tak sedap, dan lebih teruk boleh menyebabkan penyakit. Tapi, kalau lansung takde rasa cemburu pun, tak syok jugak...kerana bukankah cemburu itu tandanya sayang..;]

Speaking of 'cemburu tanda sayang' nih.., it makes me wonder, kalau kita tak rasa cemburu melihat si dia dgn org lain, adakah maksudnya kita tidak sayang..?..hmm....

just do it!!!!

inilah masalah aku yg utama..buat jelah..!!!!!nak takut kan apa...=[. Last2 doktor jugak yg buat, lps tu menyesal sbb tak buat, habis tu kenapa tadi tak buat..?!..huk2...

arrgghhhhh...i really have to get rid of my fear..all of them.. and fast!!!

=[

'tsuMAWI' mania..

the first time i heard him singing was in Konsert Prelude, singing ' Intifida'. Before he opens his mouth to sing, looking at his appearance and demeanor, hmm..just an ordinary, shy and quiet man. Nothing really special about him. But, as soon as he starts to sing, my eyes was locked to him, simply captivated and mesmerised by his incredible, powerful voice. My..now that's what we call a real singer..! And starting that day onwards..ehehhe..he is the only reason i waited every Saturday for AF. Just to listen to his singing.

opp..no, im not among his fanatic fans, ( ermm..i dont vote either..). It just that i appreciate songbirds with beautiful voice, someone that can make others sit and listen, holding their breath till the last note. YEah.. i do admit, he's still lacking here and there, he keeps making mistakes ..termasuk awal lah, tercepat dan lari dr melodi..but , amazingly...he still manage to make me..( and i know im not the only one..), to listen attentively and enjoy ourselves, blinding away his flaws and weaknesses in his performance.

lontaran suara dia..( pulakk..dh macam pengkritik AF dh nih..), memang clear. Recalling ms dia nyanyi 'Intifada', i can hear every words sung. Ermm..bukan nak kata Asri Rabbani nyanyi tak sedap, but.. i never really pay much attention to this song, until i hear Mawi singing it. Hmm..to conclude it, the way i like Siti's ,Celine's voices..it's the same admiration i felt to Mawi. Let just hope he remains being the good one, ingat baik buruk and tak hanyut with all his sudden popularities nih. Go MAwi..im rooting for u..!

tak kisahlah..org nak kata apa pun, sayur sawi ke, petola ke, terung ke..yg penting his voice is exceptional.I know a good singer when i hear one. But, frankly and personally...semerdu mana pun suara dia masa menyanyi, pastinya tak sehebat dan selunak tatkala mengalunkan ayat2 Tuhan kan..hmm...

jenguk jap

sgt penat...=/. Hari yg meletihkan, minggu yg memenatkan .Tak sabar nak balik rumah, ber'meknya' dgn adik beradik..dan tgk Mawi nyanyi..hhehe

hmmm..tak tahu nak cerita apa, atau mcmana..., kononnya dgn cerita begini, mungkin takdelah letih sgt lps ni..

someone brainwashed me the other day..tersenyap aku dgr lecture yg pjg lebar..ceramah minda yg bukan kali ini shj aku dgr, malah dh bnyk kali. Cuma dlm versi yg berbeza2, dan disampaikan oleh orang yg beza juga. Pokok ceritanya aje yg sama, iaitu aku. Aku dgr, ..sambil kepala mencerna setiap kata yg diucapkan kat dpn aku..dan kdg2 sempat lagi fikiran menerawang, tgk mata org yg bercakap, hidung dia..gigi dia..( ni for sure-la..=p )..aku mmg bukan pendengar yg baik, jrg benar nak fokus lama ...

kwn aku ni kata,...

.." change urself slowly..and eventually, ull feel it coming. it will come once u start opening urself to ppl.. Or..u can just wait and see, the same thing uve been doing since the last 23 yrs. Tunggulah sampai umur 30 thn, 40 thn.."

..wahh..she has chubby hands, why didnt i notice it before...?..hmm..

so much for brainwashing session..=/

kahwin sms belaja...hmm..

Looking at one of my friend, ballooning up, bearing her first child that is due in September..a few weeks before our fifth year Semester 1 exam. Watching her rushing around between clinic hours in her pregnant condition, and smtmes I catch her looking so tired..it makes me wonder to myself..what makes her so adamant to go through all these now, when she knew she could just wait until after we finished our study? What has changed my once quite brutal-not-womanly friend into this pretty, beautiful lady, and now..mother-to-be..? Im just..baffled.

I asked her once. She answered, with glowing smile on her face “..because I want to see him everyday, that’s why ..and couldn’t bear the thought of being apart from him. So we decided to get married..that’s all..” Huh?! That simple, that easy...? My,my…love is a powerful thing.

She is just one of the people who amazes me somehow, people who choose to juggle studies, ..( we don’t just sit in lecture hall, or tutorial room, we run around, from lab to clinic, from clinic to lab again..bla2..i tripped many times..and don’t say anything about it kakak..=/ ), and also family life, as wife and soon, mother…it’s not an easy task. When all of the other friends are still happily enjoying singleton, where the only thing we care and focus about is ourselves, .. she on the other hand has to sacrifices a lot of thing, ..the list is too long to be written in here, basically, she no longer has a real personal, solitude moment. Her own time. Ever. Hmm..

Okay..sebelum anybody membuat assumption yg aku ni anti-perkahwinan, please erase away that stupid thinking sekarang jugak. Of course, I want to get married jugak one day, im a normal woman what.. =].It just what puzzles me is that, apa yg buat dia sungguh nekad, tetap dgn keputusan, berani dan redah je segala kemungkinan dan cabaran yg dia sendiri tahu dia akan hadapi sekiranya kahwin semasa belajar, sedangkan dia punya option lain, yg mungkin lebih memudahkan kehidupan dia yg masih bergelar pelajar, contohnya…tunggulah habis belajar dulu..contohla kan. Ini bukan main2, lecturer2 sendiri kurg menggalakkan student kawin ms belajar, esp perempuan. Besides mslh2 lain yg akan timbul, we handle hazardous materials dlm lab, which not very good to health, esp kalau ms mengandung. Of course ada precaution steps taken, but if we can avoid it all over, why take the risk, and the hassle.?..

Tapi secara jujurnya, aku mengkagumi mereka ni. Kesanggupan mereka untuk menerima apa juga kesukaran yg datang, demi untuk hidup bersama orang yg tersayang. Rela bersusah di kala kwn2 seusia masih seronok ‘huha2’ sana sini. Dan ada antara golongan2 ini yg mampu untuk sukses dengan cemerlang, ( lagi bagus dr kwn2 yg single nih..heheh ), dlm keadaan mereka yg sudah berkeluarga. Serious aku tabik. Kerana kalau aku, aku tak pernah terfikir pun option tu, dan takkan bersetuju untuk itu selagi tak habis belajar =

But still..melihatkan kwn aku tuh, muka tersenyum dia, kegembiraan yg sgt ketara terpancar di mata dia..aku tahu keputusan yg dia buat tidak silap. Aku pun tumpang seronok dan excited, tak sabar tunggu tengok dia mendukung baby pertama dia. Dah berangan2 dlm kepala, hadiah apa aku nak beli nanti ya..hmm…Apa2 hal pun, bila dah jodoh, ikan di laut, asam di darat, dlm periuk bikin muafakat..walaupun ikan tak habis belajar berenang lagi pun, nak buat cemene kan..kalau dh jodohnya sampai awal, selamatlah bergulai dgn asam..hhehe

Bila dh bertemu dgn orang yang kita rasa kita nak tengok setiap hari, orang yg kita tak sabar2 nak jumpa untuk ceritakan hari kita, orang yg pertama kita nak tengok sebaik bangun dr tidur dan orang terakhir kita nak lihat sebelum pejam mata. Hmm..mungkin macam itu agaknya rasa mencintai seseorg. Mungkin jika aku dah ketemu dgn org begitu, tak mustahil aku juga akan bertindak macam dia...hmm,..but on second thought, tak maulah..tak puas lagi hidup seorg..heheh…

di bahu mama..

tatkala bayi, bahu mama menjadi sasaran, menggigit dan meronta laparkan susu..
tempat paling enak disandarkan kepala, lena terlentok..seraya tangan mama lembut mengelus.. sambil membisikkan alunan dodoian..menghanyutkan aku terus..

sewaktu kanak2, di bahu mama aku timpakan peel kanak2 ku..
amukan ku, bentakan ku..kuhamburkan tangisan tidak puas hati ku
tapi..mama, meski bahunya berat menanggung..
tidak pernah sekali tangan dihayun merotan..
tidak pernah kudengar mulut lancar berkata kasar..
terus sabar..

di usia remaja ku..menangis lagi di bahu mama.
segala duka dan rindu terpisah di negeri orang..
setiap sengsara menahan karenah, tohmahan insan..
kala melewati peredaran usia, memahami perubahan rasa di jiwa..
di bahu mama aku sandarkan..

dan kini, dalam usia dewasa ku..
basah lagi bahu mama..
entah sampai bila, aku tidak bisa menjangka..
seolah2 bahunya sentiasa rela, senantiasa bersedia..
menadah setiap cerita, menampung limpahan air mata..
hebat sungguh ciptaan-Mu yg satu ini Tuhan..

" ke mari anakku, mari luahkan ke bahu ku,
akan ringanlah beban, akan hilang kegusaran,
Ku tunjuk jalan dengan panduan Tuhan,
amanah ku pegang, sampai mati takkan ku biarkan,
jangan pendam sendirian, kerna wujudku di sini punya tujuan..
mari kepada ku, galaskan semuanya di bahu ku..
pasti kan lena tidurmu.."

masa suka gembira, berlari mencari mama..
masa sedih berduka, menangis pun di bahu mama...
masa sunyi dan ingin bercerita, ke hujung dunia aku cari mama...
masa kebingungan perihal manusia, ke arah mama kaki menerpa..
pendek kata..mama segala-galanya..
aneh sungguh ...
dalam kelembutannya, punya kekuatan yg luar biasa..
seraut tenang wajahnya, itulah penawar paling berharga..
setiap bait katanya..aku jadikan azimat seluruh usia...

mama..wariskan pusaka,turunkan ilmu..
aku ingin jadi ibu seperti mu..

know me..=]

it’s been a while rite? Miss me..? =p..

today, I want to tell a bit about myself, my favourites.., what I like, what I don’t like. No particular reason, just finding an excuse to write.

Okay..let the journey begins..( hehehe )..

About me..? – hmm, as far as u all been reading my blog, surely u know a little bit bout me by now..just a normal, plain female, who likes to dream, ponder about things in my head, who likes to make theories to satisfy myself, who loves her family with all heart. I like to believe that this world is a kind place..( and tu yg buat mak ayah risau and susah nak lepas..=/). I dont think a lot of ppl realy know me, they only see the serious, skema woman outside, the inner part of me, the childish, excited girl jumping around..are mostly concealed.

favourite flavour - chocolate!!!

favourite colour – this is easy, and very obvious. Apa kakak..? pandai..brown, anything brown, light beige, dark brown..light yellow is nice as well..earth colour ..hmm..

favourite place – hmm..of course, home, where else. My room in college, I can spend days in it, not going anywhere. And if I go out, I like to go and read ‘free books’ at kinokuniya, mph…where there will be no salesperson coming and linger around you. Where I can sit down and read as much as I can. With classical music filling the area, life is heaven. I like going out on public transport, buses, lrts,to anywhere, and watch people.. a sense of live is felt. And if i go out, suka ikut kaki..jalan jelah…and balik bilik, rs mcm nak tercabut kaki, but the journey tuh..amazing..Suka jugak window shop..pergi try2 kasut, belek2 baju, ( duit takde pun..), and ..stuffs like that..

favourite music – Actually berubah mengikut mood jugak nih…but basically, i like instrumental, classical type songs.. plus, siti nurhaliza’s voice, celine dion’s, those who possess true, beautiful, breathtaking voice,and I find myself interested in Japanese songs as well ( wpun ramai yg komen, ‘ bukannya fhm pun !’ ..tak kisah lah, suka jugakk..). Suka lagu2 lama…60's,70's..

favourite movie - Sgt suka cerita yg based on true story or history of a country, stories that involves family matters.I choose Asian movies over westerns,..meanings I like Chinese, japans, Korean movies..bla2. I prefer kungfu-action-packed movie than animation/cartoons movies. Suka JetLi’s, Jackie Chan’s..melopong tgk kungfu diorg. Although a sense of romance can make me smile like a stupid girl throughout the movie, hmm..this kind of movie, is only for one-time watch, besides I hate the fact that I tend to believe in it..=/. And currently, TAE GUK GI, is on top of the list..Go Jang Dong Gun! ( he’s a trully good actor, plus a real man..heheh ).

Favourite food – hahah, this one is hard, because I like to eat, so..to find one that is my favourite ..tu susah sketlah. Dan jugak it changes with mood and zaman.Cendol+pulut best. Soto best. Kuah lodeh best.COKLAT best!! ( but not with the fruits tuh..tak ‘masuk’lah kismis dgn coklat..).Bnyklah..x terkata.=D


Klah..yg lain2 tuh, u have to get to know it urselflah, besides, there’ll be no mystery left kalau sume dh tahu ehh..heheh..

Enuff of time wasting..bye!

kerana cantik...

beauty stands in the eyes of the beholder...
cantik di mata org, mungkin biasa shj di mata kita,
takrifan cantik itu sendiri, luas..subjektif kata org. Ada yg kata cantik di matanya, mulutnya..budi bahasanya...personalitinya...pendekkan kata yg panjang, ia bergantung pd penilaian manusia yg berbeza2.
Apa yg ada dlm tgn kita, syukurilah...dan lihat dunia dgn rs kesyukuran yg sama, baru terasa keindahannya..
Baru kelihatan cantiknya...

seorg kakak masa sekolah pernah mengingatkan aku, agar mengamalkan doa semasa melihat cermin..( yg aku selalu tak buat dr buat..ikss, lupa..=/), agar kita sentiasa insaf dan sedar, hinanya kita, buruknya kita..kalau hanya fizikal yg sempurna tapi rohani dan dalaman tak terpelihara. Nak 'cantik dalam' tu yg susah, dan tak ramai yg ada.

"..Ya Allah, perindahkanlah akhlak ku, sebagaimana Kau perindahkan kejadian ku...aminn.."- doa sms melihat cermin.

JANGAN KERANA CANTIK

Jangan kata aku cantik,
Bimbang di hati bangga terdetik,
Depan cermin asyik menilik,
Berbunga di hati, betul ke aku ni cantik ?

Jangan suka aku disebabkan cantik,
Kerana yang lahiriah tidaklah statik,
Kenali dan dalami aku baik – baik,
Keturunan dan keserasian penting selidik.

Jika kerana cantik aku dikelek,
Dicanang ditayang hilir mudik,
Aku tidak mahu diiktiraf awek,
Oleh lelaki berfikiran cetek.

Daripada kerap memuji cantik,
Lebih baik doakan aku perempuan baik,
Jangan melihat rupa yang molek,
Intan dan kaca bisa tersilap belek.

Jika ingin memuji cantik,
Hamburkan syukur pujian buat Pemilik.
Yang mencipta keindahan lagi menarik,
Maha Sempurna Tuhan, tiada cacat setitik.

Aku tidak damba pujian cantik,
Semuanya pinjaman, akan dipulang balik.
Di hari penentuan, dalam buku tercatit,
Apa dipergunakan, anugerah Tuhan yang cuma sedetik.

Harta dan pangkat aku tidak tertarik,
Pun tidak harap kerjayanya arkitek,
Berkereta mewah koleksi antik,
Tapi menyukai aku kerana cantik !

Yang aku doakan lelaki yang baik,
Sederhana penampilan, orang yang terdidik,
Memilih aku kerana di hatinya berbisik,
Inilah orangnya, bersama mimpi dilarik.

.." lawa tiada, manis ada..=] ..."