di bumi Perghlihh...!

have lots to tell, tp kat tpt org..tgh round2 tetiba jumpa cyber cafe, terus melonjak masukk..=D..

so..here i am, kat Perlis Indera Kayangan..nanti balik KL..kita story naa...

so..wish me luck here, panas dan penat..tapi sgt seronok...

p/s : seminggu dok sini, boleh speaking Perghlihh la lps nih...=p

cemburu dan perempuan

Cemburu dan perempuan..mcm agak closely linked to each other. Walaupun lelaki pun ada cemburunya, ..entah kenapa, masyarakat amnya lebih suka menghubungkan istilah ini dengan kaum hawa.

Cemburu, iri hati dan hasad dengki..perempuan2. Setakat 23 thn hidup nih, i had a few share of experiences berhadapan dgn karenah manusia begini. Cemburu melihat kelebihan org lain, dengki dan iri hati yang mengundang kepada memburukkan, mengata dan bermasam muka. Kadang2 kesian jugak kat org kuat dengki nih, begitu rendahkah nilai diri dia sampai hanya dpt nampak dan pandang keistimewaan org lain. Tu yg kdg2 berkawan dgn org lelaki lebih menarik, takde bende remeh-temeh mcm nih..

Aku pernah baca satu novel ‘Cemburu Seorg Perempuan’, quite a nice story, Cuma agak tragiklah..yg membuatkan aku terfikir, “betulke manusia boleh jadi se'gila' itu bila dikuasai cemburu?”. Itulah pentingnya akal menguasai perasaan, iman menjadi bekalan, kerana nafsu kalau dibiarkan menjadi raja, memang akan binasa.

Sebenarnya terlintas utk menulis ttg isu ni, bila mengenangkan patient tadi. Entah apa angin ribut, sejak dua menjak ni, kalau dia dtg utk rawatan, isteri dia akan mengekor sama. Siap duduk kat tepi dental chair, tengok aku rawat husband dia. Heheh..amused ada, naik rimas pun ada, hai..sampai mcm tu sekali ke tak percaya kat laki. Suami dia yg merupakan pesakit paling compliant aku, pernah berbisik memberitahu, isterinya kuat cemburu. Aku hanya senyum, macam2 lah ragam org ni. Suami yg dh menghampiri setengah abad, layak dipanggil pakcik, tak payahlah nak dirisaukan apa. Cuma yelah..manusia, lain org, lainlah hatinya. Ikut suka lah..asal tak ganggu aku buat keje sudah..

Sama jugak kesnya dgn seorg kwn, yg turut membekam rs cemburu, sepanjang aku berorganisasi dgn ‘pakwe’ dia. Kalau muka dia masam, menjeling tajam tak pasal2 pada aku tuh,..ha, adelah tak kena kat mana2 tu. Biar berbuih mulut aku menerangkan, esok lusa dia ‘jeles’ lagi. Entahlah..agaknya bila rasa sayang dah teramat, membuatkan rasa cemburu hinggap bila melihat org ‘kepunyaan’ rapat dengan org lain. Mungkin kot. Cemburu, bolehkah dijadikan nilaian dan ukuran sedalam mana rasa sayang kita pd seseorg..?

Yg pasti, rasa cemburu tidak salah, malah ia adalah lumrah, perasaan yg akan terbit sekali – sekala dalam melayari perhubungan dgn manusia lain. Aisyah r.a pun mencemburui Khadijah, walaupun beliau sudah tiada di sisi RAsulullah s.a.w. Siti Sarah turut mencemburui Siti Hajar, yg mampu melahirkan zuriat utk Nabi Ibrahim, lantas membuatkan Ibrahim membawa Siti HAjar dan anaknya Ismail, ke tempat lain. Cuma biarlah cemburu yg berpada2, ibarat secubit garam atau gula buat penyedap makanan. Kalau berlebihan, makanan jd tak sedap, dan lebih teruk boleh menyebabkan penyakit. Tapi, kalau lansung takde rasa cemburu pun, tak syok jugak...kerana bukankah cemburu itu tandanya sayang..;]

Speaking of 'cemburu tanda sayang' nih.., it makes me wonder, kalau kita tak rasa cemburu melihat si dia dgn org lain, adakah maksudnya kita tidak sayang..?..hmm....

just do it!!!!

inilah masalah aku yg utama..buat jelah..!!!!!nak takut kan apa...=[. Last2 doktor jugak yg buat, lps tu menyesal sbb tak buat, habis tu kenapa tadi tak buat..?!..huk2...

arrgghhhhh...i really have to get rid of my fear..all of them.. and fast!!!

=[

'tsuMAWI' mania..

the first time i heard him singing was in Konsert Prelude, singing ' Intifida'. Before he opens his mouth to sing, looking at his appearance and demeanor, hmm..just an ordinary, shy and quiet man. Nothing really special about him. But, as soon as he starts to sing, my eyes was locked to him, simply captivated and mesmerised by his incredible, powerful voice. My..now that's what we call a real singer..! And starting that day onwards..ehehhe..he is the only reason i waited every Saturday for AF. Just to listen to his singing.

opp..no, im not among his fanatic fans, ( ermm..i dont vote either..). It just that i appreciate songbirds with beautiful voice, someone that can make others sit and listen, holding their breath till the last note. YEah.. i do admit, he's still lacking here and there, he keeps making mistakes ..termasuk awal lah, tercepat dan lari dr melodi..but , amazingly...he still manage to make me..( and i know im not the only one..), to listen attentively and enjoy ourselves, blinding away his flaws and weaknesses in his performance.

lontaran suara dia..( pulakk..dh macam pengkritik AF dh nih..), memang clear. Recalling ms dia nyanyi 'Intifada', i can hear every words sung. Ermm..bukan nak kata Asri Rabbani nyanyi tak sedap, but.. i never really pay much attention to this song, until i hear Mawi singing it. Hmm..to conclude it, the way i like Siti's ,Celine's voices..it's the same admiration i felt to Mawi. Let just hope he remains being the good one, ingat baik buruk and tak hanyut with all his sudden popularities nih. Go MAwi..im rooting for u..!

tak kisahlah..org nak kata apa pun, sayur sawi ke, petola ke, terung ke..yg penting his voice is exceptional.I know a good singer when i hear one. But, frankly and personally...semerdu mana pun suara dia masa menyanyi, pastinya tak sehebat dan selunak tatkala mengalunkan ayat2 Tuhan kan..hmm...

jenguk jap

sgt penat...=/. Hari yg meletihkan, minggu yg memenatkan .Tak sabar nak balik rumah, ber'meknya' dgn adik beradik..dan tgk Mawi nyanyi..hhehe

hmmm..tak tahu nak cerita apa, atau mcmana..., kononnya dgn cerita begini, mungkin takdelah letih sgt lps ni..

someone brainwashed me the other day..tersenyap aku dgr lecture yg pjg lebar..ceramah minda yg bukan kali ini shj aku dgr, malah dh bnyk kali. Cuma dlm versi yg berbeza2, dan disampaikan oleh orang yg beza juga. Pokok ceritanya aje yg sama, iaitu aku. Aku dgr, ..sambil kepala mencerna setiap kata yg diucapkan kat dpn aku..dan kdg2 sempat lagi fikiran menerawang, tgk mata org yg bercakap, hidung dia..gigi dia..( ni for sure-la..=p )..aku mmg bukan pendengar yg baik, jrg benar nak fokus lama ...

kwn aku ni kata,...

.." change urself slowly..and eventually, ull feel it coming. it will come once u start opening urself to ppl.. Or..u can just wait and see, the same thing uve been doing since the last 23 yrs. Tunggulah sampai umur 30 thn, 40 thn.."

..wahh..she has chubby hands, why didnt i notice it before...?..hmm..

so much for brainwashing session..=/

kahwin sms belaja...hmm..

Looking at one of my friend, ballooning up, bearing her first child that is due in September..a few weeks before our fifth year Semester 1 exam. Watching her rushing around between clinic hours in her pregnant condition, and smtmes I catch her looking so tired..it makes me wonder to myself..what makes her so adamant to go through all these now, when she knew she could just wait until after we finished our study? What has changed my once quite brutal-not-womanly friend into this pretty, beautiful lady, and now..mother-to-be..? Im just..baffled.

I asked her once. She answered, with glowing smile on her face “..because I want to see him everyday, that’s why ..and couldn’t bear the thought of being apart from him. So we decided to get married..that’s all..” Huh?! That simple, that easy...? My,my…love is a powerful thing.

She is just one of the people who amazes me somehow, people who choose to juggle studies, ..( we don’t just sit in lecture hall, or tutorial room, we run around, from lab to clinic, from clinic to lab again..bla2..i tripped many times..and don’t say anything about it kakak..=/ ), and also family life, as wife and soon, mother…it’s not an easy task. When all of the other friends are still happily enjoying singleton, where the only thing we care and focus about is ourselves, .. she on the other hand has to sacrifices a lot of thing, ..the list is too long to be written in here, basically, she no longer has a real personal, solitude moment. Her own time. Ever. Hmm..

Okay..sebelum anybody membuat assumption yg aku ni anti-perkahwinan, please erase away that stupid thinking sekarang jugak. Of course, I want to get married jugak one day, im a normal woman what.. =].It just what puzzles me is that, apa yg buat dia sungguh nekad, tetap dgn keputusan, berani dan redah je segala kemungkinan dan cabaran yg dia sendiri tahu dia akan hadapi sekiranya kahwin semasa belajar, sedangkan dia punya option lain, yg mungkin lebih memudahkan kehidupan dia yg masih bergelar pelajar, contohnya…tunggulah habis belajar dulu..contohla kan. Ini bukan main2, lecturer2 sendiri kurg menggalakkan student kawin ms belajar, esp perempuan. Besides mslh2 lain yg akan timbul, we handle hazardous materials dlm lab, which not very good to health, esp kalau ms mengandung. Of course ada precaution steps taken, but if we can avoid it all over, why take the risk, and the hassle.?..

Tapi secara jujurnya, aku mengkagumi mereka ni. Kesanggupan mereka untuk menerima apa juga kesukaran yg datang, demi untuk hidup bersama orang yg tersayang. Rela bersusah di kala kwn2 seusia masih seronok ‘huha2’ sana sini. Dan ada antara golongan2 ini yg mampu untuk sukses dengan cemerlang, ( lagi bagus dr kwn2 yg single nih..heheh ), dlm keadaan mereka yg sudah berkeluarga. Serious aku tabik. Kerana kalau aku, aku tak pernah terfikir pun option tu, dan takkan bersetuju untuk itu selagi tak habis belajar =

But still..melihatkan kwn aku tuh, muka tersenyum dia, kegembiraan yg sgt ketara terpancar di mata dia..aku tahu keputusan yg dia buat tidak silap. Aku pun tumpang seronok dan excited, tak sabar tunggu tengok dia mendukung baby pertama dia. Dah berangan2 dlm kepala, hadiah apa aku nak beli nanti ya..hmm…Apa2 hal pun, bila dah jodoh, ikan di laut, asam di darat, dlm periuk bikin muafakat..walaupun ikan tak habis belajar berenang lagi pun, nak buat cemene kan..kalau dh jodohnya sampai awal, selamatlah bergulai dgn asam..hhehe

Bila dh bertemu dgn orang yang kita rasa kita nak tengok setiap hari, orang yg kita tak sabar2 nak jumpa untuk ceritakan hari kita, orang yg pertama kita nak tengok sebaik bangun dr tidur dan orang terakhir kita nak lihat sebelum pejam mata. Hmm..mungkin macam itu agaknya rasa mencintai seseorg. Mungkin jika aku dah ketemu dgn org begitu, tak mustahil aku juga akan bertindak macam dia...hmm,..but on second thought, tak maulah..tak puas lagi hidup seorg..heheh…

di bahu mama..

tatkala bayi, bahu mama menjadi sasaran, menggigit dan meronta laparkan susu..
tempat paling enak disandarkan kepala, lena terlentok..seraya tangan mama lembut mengelus.. sambil membisikkan alunan dodoian..menghanyutkan aku terus..

sewaktu kanak2, di bahu mama aku timpakan peel kanak2 ku..
amukan ku, bentakan ku..kuhamburkan tangisan tidak puas hati ku
tapi..mama, meski bahunya berat menanggung..
tidak pernah sekali tangan dihayun merotan..
tidak pernah kudengar mulut lancar berkata kasar..
terus sabar..

di usia remaja ku..menangis lagi di bahu mama.
segala duka dan rindu terpisah di negeri orang..
setiap sengsara menahan karenah, tohmahan insan..
kala melewati peredaran usia, memahami perubahan rasa di jiwa..
di bahu mama aku sandarkan..

dan kini, dalam usia dewasa ku..
basah lagi bahu mama..
entah sampai bila, aku tidak bisa menjangka..
seolah2 bahunya sentiasa rela, senantiasa bersedia..
menadah setiap cerita, menampung limpahan air mata..
hebat sungguh ciptaan-Mu yg satu ini Tuhan..

" ke mari anakku, mari luahkan ke bahu ku,
akan ringanlah beban, akan hilang kegusaran,
Ku tunjuk jalan dengan panduan Tuhan,
amanah ku pegang, sampai mati takkan ku biarkan,
jangan pendam sendirian, kerna wujudku di sini punya tujuan..
mari kepada ku, galaskan semuanya di bahu ku..
pasti kan lena tidurmu.."

masa suka gembira, berlari mencari mama..
masa sedih berduka, menangis pun di bahu mama...
masa sunyi dan ingin bercerita, ke hujung dunia aku cari mama...
masa kebingungan perihal manusia, ke arah mama kaki menerpa..
pendek kata..mama segala-galanya..
aneh sungguh ...
dalam kelembutannya, punya kekuatan yg luar biasa..
seraut tenang wajahnya, itulah penawar paling berharga..
setiap bait katanya..aku jadikan azimat seluruh usia...

mama..wariskan pusaka,turunkan ilmu..
aku ingin jadi ibu seperti mu..

know me..=]

it’s been a while rite? Miss me..? =p..

today, I want to tell a bit about myself, my favourites.., what I like, what I don’t like. No particular reason, just finding an excuse to write.

Okay..let the journey begins..( hehehe )..

About me..? – hmm, as far as u all been reading my blog, surely u know a little bit bout me by now..just a normal, plain female, who likes to dream, ponder about things in my head, who likes to make theories to satisfy myself, who loves her family with all heart. I like to believe that this world is a kind place..( and tu yg buat mak ayah risau and susah nak lepas..=/). I dont think a lot of ppl realy know me, they only see the serious, skema woman outside, the inner part of me, the childish, excited girl jumping around..are mostly concealed.

favourite flavour - chocolate!!!

favourite colour – this is easy, and very obvious. Apa kakak..? pandai..brown, anything brown, light beige, dark brown..light yellow is nice as well..earth colour ..hmm..

favourite place – hmm..of course, home, where else. My room in college, I can spend days in it, not going anywhere. And if I go out, I like to go and read ‘free books’ at kinokuniya, mph…where there will be no salesperson coming and linger around you. Where I can sit down and read as much as I can. With classical music filling the area, life is heaven. I like going out on public transport, buses, lrts,to anywhere, and watch people.. a sense of live is felt. And if i go out, suka ikut kaki..jalan jelah…and balik bilik, rs mcm nak tercabut kaki, but the journey tuh..amazing..Suka jugak window shop..pergi try2 kasut, belek2 baju, ( duit takde pun..), and ..stuffs like that..

favourite music – Actually berubah mengikut mood jugak nih…but basically, i like instrumental, classical type songs.. plus, siti nurhaliza’s voice, celine dion’s, those who possess true, beautiful, breathtaking voice,and I find myself interested in Japanese songs as well ( wpun ramai yg komen, ‘ bukannya fhm pun !’ ..tak kisah lah, suka jugakk..). Suka lagu2 lama…60's,70's..

favourite movie - Sgt suka cerita yg based on true story or history of a country, stories that involves family matters.I choose Asian movies over westerns,..meanings I like Chinese, japans, Korean movies..bla2. I prefer kungfu-action-packed movie than animation/cartoons movies. Suka JetLi’s, Jackie Chan’s..melopong tgk kungfu diorg. Although a sense of romance can make me smile like a stupid girl throughout the movie, hmm..this kind of movie, is only for one-time watch, besides I hate the fact that I tend to believe in it..=/. And currently, TAE GUK GI, is on top of the list..Go Jang Dong Gun! ( he’s a trully good actor, plus a real man..heheh ).

Favourite food – hahah, this one is hard, because I like to eat, so..to find one that is my favourite ..tu susah sketlah. Dan jugak it changes with mood and zaman.Cendol+pulut best. Soto best. Kuah lodeh best.COKLAT best!! ( but not with the fruits tuh..tak ‘masuk’lah kismis dgn coklat..).Bnyklah..x terkata.=D


Klah..yg lain2 tuh, u have to get to know it urselflah, besides, there’ll be no mystery left kalau sume dh tahu ehh..heheh..

Enuff of time wasting..bye!

kerana cantik...

beauty stands in the eyes of the beholder...
cantik di mata org, mungkin biasa shj di mata kita,
takrifan cantik itu sendiri, luas..subjektif kata org. Ada yg kata cantik di matanya, mulutnya..budi bahasanya...personalitinya...pendekkan kata yg panjang, ia bergantung pd penilaian manusia yg berbeza2.
Apa yg ada dlm tgn kita, syukurilah...dan lihat dunia dgn rs kesyukuran yg sama, baru terasa keindahannya..
Baru kelihatan cantiknya...

seorg kakak masa sekolah pernah mengingatkan aku, agar mengamalkan doa semasa melihat cermin..( yg aku selalu tak buat dr buat..ikss, lupa..=/), agar kita sentiasa insaf dan sedar, hinanya kita, buruknya kita..kalau hanya fizikal yg sempurna tapi rohani dan dalaman tak terpelihara. Nak 'cantik dalam' tu yg susah, dan tak ramai yg ada.

"..Ya Allah, perindahkanlah akhlak ku, sebagaimana Kau perindahkan kejadian ku...aminn.."- doa sms melihat cermin.

JANGAN KERANA CANTIK

Jangan kata aku cantik,
Bimbang di hati bangga terdetik,
Depan cermin asyik menilik,
Berbunga di hati, betul ke aku ni cantik ?

Jangan suka aku disebabkan cantik,
Kerana yang lahiriah tidaklah statik,
Kenali dan dalami aku baik – baik,
Keturunan dan keserasian penting selidik.

Jika kerana cantik aku dikelek,
Dicanang ditayang hilir mudik,
Aku tidak mahu diiktiraf awek,
Oleh lelaki berfikiran cetek.

Daripada kerap memuji cantik,
Lebih baik doakan aku perempuan baik,
Jangan melihat rupa yang molek,
Intan dan kaca bisa tersilap belek.

Jika ingin memuji cantik,
Hamburkan syukur pujian buat Pemilik.
Yang mencipta keindahan lagi menarik,
Maha Sempurna Tuhan, tiada cacat setitik.

Aku tidak damba pujian cantik,
Semuanya pinjaman, akan dipulang balik.
Di hari penentuan, dalam buku tercatit,
Apa dipergunakan, anugerah Tuhan yang cuma sedetik.

Harta dan pangkat aku tidak tertarik,
Pun tidak harap kerjayanya arkitek,
Berkereta mewah koleksi antik,
Tapi menyukai aku kerana cantik !

Yang aku doakan lelaki yang baik,
Sederhana penampilan, orang yang terdidik,
Memilih aku kerana di hatinya berbisik,
Inilah orangnya, bersama mimpi dilarik.

.." lawa tiada, manis ada..=] ..."

is it really the one..?

someone said to me.." kalau nak pupuk rasa suka kita pd seseorg tu, kita lihat kebaikan yg ada pada dia...". Hmm..is it really like that ..? Ajar diri kita utk suka pd org tu.. if it's like that, where's the magic in it..?Or is the journey towards liking someone, opening ur heart to him that is never opened to anyone else before, and looking at someone in a special, loving way, the kind that no one else in ur life ever get that kind of look from u...is 'magical' in its own right. Hard to tell.

i know sooner or later i have to deal with this thing, it just that i dunno what to do when the time finally come. Is this it.. is he's really 'the one'? Is my search has finally come to its end. Hard to tell.

someone told me a story about a boy who's been asked by his teacher to go look in the forest for the longest stick that he could find and bring it back in 20 minutes time. So the boy went in the forest and started looking, picking every long stick he could find, examined it for a while and said to himself.." perhaps ill find a longer one in front". So, he dropped it, and went looking again. Everytime he found a stick, the same thought crossed his mind, and he dropped the stick. Finally, after 20 minutes, he came out from the forest, empty-handed. He said he couldnt find the longest stick, as he kept thinking that probably a longer stick might appear in front. His wise teacher said, that's how life is. U are given a certain amount of years to live, we dont have 1000 yrs, we dont have forever. In that limited time in our life, we have to make a decision, make a choice, and hold to it. No matter if we found a 'longer' stick later in front, the 'stick' in our hand is the chosen one. Hold to it, and stop looking around. Or else, u can and will never find the 'longest stick'. Ever.

hmm..guess that answers a lot of questions huh?

"..wondering how they met, and what makes it last..
if i found the place, would i recognise the face.."
- it might be you ( a song )

sementara semangat tgh membara...

disedarkan dr cuti yg panjang dengan hakikat aku kini pelajar tahun akhir pergigian. Pulang dr cuti yg penuh kerehatan dengan tugasan terbentang dpn mata, dan ekspektasi yg tinggi dari masyarakat. Aku boleh = i.

projek aku berjalan baik, aku pilih tajuk "impacts of oral cancer on patient's quality of life-the role of dental team". Dan aku dedikasikan buat arwah Ayah Dir.Kdg2 aku teringatkan arwah di tgh2 pembacaan journal, terkenangkan raut wajahnya yg belum lagi dimakan usia tp terlebih dahulu dijemput Ilahi, tersedar akan hakikat dunia ni begini, ironinya sebuah kehidupan, orang yg paling tak disangka2 itulah yg diberi ujian hebat nih. Ya Allah..cucurilah rahmat dan Engkau tempatkan arwah ayah dir bersama golongan mukminin-Mu..aminn.

projek yg paling aku tunggu2 akhirnya, insyaAllah akan terlaksana bulan Ogos ni. Dan spt yg aku rancang2kan sekian lama, aku memilih Kangar, Perlis. ( setelah puas memujuk ayah agar tak perlu risau dan runsingkan aku. Kdg2 pelik aku, imah dan kakak dah ke ceruk dunia berjalan okey2 je, bila aku nak merasa merantau jauh sikit, kemainlah susahnya..atr dialognya yg mencuit hati aku.." tak payahlah ..karang tsunami plak.."..heheh..ayah2..). Dan aku sgt bersemangat. Sangat2 bersemangat =D. Semoga usaha dan perancangan kami diberkati dan dipermudahkan-Nya...aminn. Aku akan mula bersiap-sedia dr sekarang. ( aku ni, kalau dh semangat,..berkobar2...=p)

dan sekarang sambil2 aku 'search' Internet utk projek nih, sambil aku menunggu utk list tajuk2 projek elektif tahun ini keluar. Biasalah,kalau stailnya 'first come, first serve', siapa cepat, dia dpt..student2 semua masih sabar menunggu utk dapatkan tajuk yg menarik dan diminati, baru seronok sikit buat bende yg kita ada passion utk buat, rather than buat tajuk yg leftover org lain. Dunia sekarang..those who lag behind, stay behind..( pesan yg selalu aku dpt..)

dan satu lagi perkara yg mengisi kotak pemikiran aku sekarang, ialah mengejar requirement aku, ini dh tahun terakhir, taknaklah kerana tak cukup requirement, tak dpt graduate pulak. Pendek kata, tahun ini..aku dan kwn2 aku..kena selalu masuk gear tertinggi, dan pecut laju. Mana denture nak siapkan, ditambah pulak kes crown dan bridge, mana kes endo , paeds, perio, brp bnyk tampalan amalgam dh dibuat etc...menyebut di sini aje buat aku perit. HAti..mesti kuat dan tabah..

nggak mahu main2 lagi, .." set a goal; when u want what u've never had, u must do what u've never done.."

readers..doakan lah aku ya..=]

and it begins ...

tamatlah sudah cuti. ISkks..as usual, after a long, do-nothing-but-vegging-out holiday..the idea of going back to school dont seem very enthralling..at all. Especially when u know, the same routine as a student will starts again. Hai..hati..excitedlah skett..monyok je..=/.

Heh..kakak aku pernah cakap, "..have sthg to look forward to..".Something or someone, anything that will perk u up early Monday morning, energetic and fully spirited to go to school. Excited till u feel like running. Knowing that 'that special thing' is waiting at school, or at ur workplace. U'll be glowing everyday, happy and lively..as u look forward to every day to go to school, to work, to that place..to that 'thing'. But in my case,..i dont think i have anything or anyone ..that'll make me wanna kick off my blanket and jump out from bed , couldnt wait to go to school..hmm..what is 'the thing' that'll make me look forward to going back to school..?

Looking at teeth..? ..gee, that sure sound exciting..2 months my hands are free from holding instruments, blood, saliva..teeth. Cant wait to start peering in ppl's mouth.
Any particular human being, specifically the Martian..?..nope. There's just nobody, no one. Fullstop.
Any favourite food, drinks..that is only available at ur school..? ..ermm..let see, the muffin, yes..only i wish it's a bit cheaper now..
Any favourite hang-out spot,..? that'll be my room, my computer, ..my bed. Ehh..im beginning to be more positive. This thing do works...yeah, back in my room, the room ive painted, and decorated the way i like it. And, my 'blue Nemo'..he must be very lonely being left 'berhabuk' alone. That baby picture in front of the door, greeting me with his adorable smile and his chubby hands balled into a fist..with the words written above him..'Senyum Malaysia' ( he'll make me smile instantly..=]). And..my slippers, my mirror..
Hmm what else..? A walk along the corridors at night, esp on the top floor, where u can see and smell the night. GAthering in my friend's room..and talk till late at night, watch tv and cds together. The songs in my computer, all my favourite songs..and start working out again, get active and healthy... after 2 months ruining my body, inside out. ..

hmm..i feel much better now. I guess, above all, it's trying to make it as wonderful as possible, and seeing the positive side of everything..that's the only way.And if it still doesnt work to make u cheerfully chirpy person, pretend to be excited and happy. U'll realise that by pretending it, sooner or later, u'll be it. Hey..that's not what i say haa, it's quoted from Donald Trump..

okaylah..it's getting late. Im back to school guys, with lots of work waiting to be settled. And this will be my final year, my 5th year..hmm..kinda lonely plak when u are on top, the so -called super seniors. I dont like the feeling of having no seniors above me, the same kind of feeling i get when i became the lead of the 'school debate' team when all the 'mentors' older than me finished school, leaving me as the only senior to the group. Not long after that, i quit. Well..it's a history by now..so let it be.

Huaargghh..i need to gather my stuffs, where are my books, my things, before going to sleep.

..have sthg to look forward to..hmm.

i had a dream

i had a weird dream last night. Weird, but pleasant in some way. I was in a building ( kind of like asrama masa sekolah )..there was this one face, that gives a very warm, shy feeling, and even in that dream, i can feel the happinness swelling inside.

Actually, where do all those stuffs that appear in our dreams come from..? Why do we dream about them..?Some ppl said it's the stuffs that we think the most throughout the day. The people we miss, and like an answered prayer, they are brought in our dreams to help lessen the longing inside. But still, some dreams are so foreign, that it has no relation to our life, no familiar faces, ..we find ourselves stranded in strange places..and make us awake in the morning, puzzled by the mystery of it. Some studies said that dream comes from our subconscious mind..hmm. Haha, and there was also this one time, i dreamt 'bersanding' with faizal hussein..a result of watching too much Malay dramas..( i think i watched 'Sembilu' kott..). Not the kind of dream i would like to have though..=/.

When i was a kid, i always have this same dream, the kind that makes me hated the thought of sleeping, hoping silently that i wouldnt be haunted with that dream. How to describe that dream ya..it was not a ghostly kind of dream, it was just so weird that it makes me wishing..." cepatlah..nak keluar dr mimpi nih..".In that dream, there were these few unrecognised faces that would come really close to me, and move far..they come closer again, and back off..keep repeating that act several times. Their mouth were moving, quite animatedly speaking to me, because they look so excited talking. As if like they are telling sthg, but no voice heard. Smtmes, there would be a long cloth, and they would be playing with that piece of cloth, laughing. It was quite eerie, it gave me a feeling of restlessness, that made me want to open my eyes quickly to shut away these faces from me.

Dreams of running in unknown country, far from my home, running away from ppl chasing me..run..run..run. Dreams that even when im dreaming, it felt so real, the sadness, desperation..and helplessness..finding my way home.

whatever it is, i hope i could continue my unfinished dream last night. It was nice..able to feel that thing again after all these years leaving school.

risaukan adik yg exam..

Hmm..susahnya nak menyuruh adik bungsu belajar, atau adakah sbb dia lelaki..? Seingat aku, dulu, kami kakak2 kat atas dia nih, kena 'kuarantin' dlm bilik, no tv until exams over. Kalau nak tengok tv, pun tak tenteram rsnya, runsingkan exam, tapi faktor utama adlh kerana takutkan ayah. Dengar pintu bilik ayah terbuka, cabut masuk bilik. Tapi adik yg seorg punyalah rileks, dan ayah pun dh tak segarang dulu, mungkin disebabkan keputusan adik yg sentiasa menggembirakan hati mak ayah. Atau mungkin juga sbb ayah dh tua, dh tak berkudrat dh nak 'kejar' anak seorg2 mcm dulu. Jadi peranan kakak2 dan abang dia lah pula nak take over pastikan adik belajar. Bukannya apa, ..takut dia terbiasa anggap ringan pada exam. Walaupun keputusan baik, attitude terhadap pembelajaran tu yg perlu dipupuk dan dijdkan amalan. Dahlah tahun ni nak UPSR. Hai..lah adik..=/.

Keyakinan adik mmg hebat, dan kami jugak sentiasa percaya dgn kemampuannya kerana result nya sering setimpal dgn keyakinan yg dipamerkan. Cuma entahlah..risau jugak tengok dia rilek sgt. Dlm bab menyuruh2 belajar ni, aku selalu 'fail' , kakak lebih bijak handle, ketegasannya bertempat. Abe pulak garang sgt, kesian pulak dkt adik. Aku..? Hmmph..bila nampak dia dah berubah muka bila disuruh2 belajar, cepat benar aku cair, tak sampai hati tengok dia mcm tu. Isshh..bahaya sikit nih, rosak pulak anak2 aku nanti bila terlalu diikutkan kehendak anak, dan tak biasa bertegas dgn anak ..mcm cerita 'anakku sazali' tuh..hissh, minta dijauhkan Tuhan..( jauhlah plak fikir..).

Adik lelaki bungsu kami, dia lah seorg. Jauh lebih matang dr usia, biasalah...bila dh bergaul dgn kakak2 dan abang yg dh dewasa, dia pun ikut dewasa. Walaupun bungsu, karakternya tidak menyusahkan org, tidak berkira, pandai mengambil hati, dan tak pernah sekali pun merunsingkan kepala mak ayah..pendek kata membesarkan dia senang. Heheh..teringat hari pertama adik masuk sekolah, aku yg kena teman sehari suntuk sbb mama dan ayah ada hal, jadi terpaksa lah aku berlagak 'ibu' dan bergaul dgn golongan ibu bapa, yg excitednya mereka nih melebihi si anak. Ada atr kanak2 ni yg maknya kena duduk bersama di sebelah anak dlm kelas, tak kurg juga mak ayah yg tak berenti2 ambil gambar anak melalui celah2 tingkap, nak tergelak jugak melihat gelagat mereka nih. Adik ? Aku hanya boleh jeling2 dia dr jauh je, sbb dia siap bg signal dgn tangan agar aku tak menunggu terpacak tepi kelas.Cehh..malu konon, anak lelaki lah katakan..=]

apa2 pun,adik..good luck exam ya..! And a happy 12th birthday you ( 20 mei )..semoga adik panjang umur, diberi kesihatan yg baik, menjadi anak dan manusia yg soleh..diberkati kehidupan adik dunia akhirat..=D! Lepas exam nih..kitorg bawa adik kluar jalan2..enjoy lps exam. Bila ditanya nak hadiah apa utk birthday, mcm2 pulaklah yg dia mintak..nak makan Sate King, Mcd yg foldover tuh, nak tengok Star WArs, Madagascar pun nak tengok..lps tu nak cd game..amboi..ingat kakak2 dia nih cetak duit gamaknya..heheh =]...mcm2 lah adik...

a couch potato

sob..sob..sob..
watched 'Artificial Intelligence' for the first time, i was wiping away tears throughout the movie. My god.. Haley Joel OSment sure can act, ..frankly..for a boy his age, he can make many well-known actors wished that they would be turned into turtles, so they could crept under their shell to hide from embarassment. I mean.. he was totally awesome, ..superb acting! Dahlah cuuuuttteeee sgt,..rs nak ambil buat anak angkat kalau jumpa boy secute tuh..hheheh..;p. Science fiction movie can be so entertaining..( for someone who barely watch any..)

Spending my time leisurely..yup, that's what im doing. Im switching off my hp for a couple of days..free from any calls or SMSes,sorry..fellas, i need some time 'away' from any gadgets, name it handphone or chatting in ym, msn..nope, not on my list. Suddenly i found myself 'not in the mood' for anything, other than staying at home, ..be around my family, watching tv all day( ..u-oh..ive become a tv addict.), read novels... Ermm..enjoying my moment of solitude, not disturbed with the' beep, beep' sound of handphone,.or anything related to it.

HAhah..i spent the whole day, watching 'The Contender Marathon'. I never know, boxing can be something that catches my attention, perhaps because it's a reality tv show. ( but wrestling is still a no-no...i think throwing one another, screaming and acting like some kind of monsters.. are too brutal for any human being..sorry wrestlers, and i can't believe that it's only an act, because it looks so real..). Seriously into this thing..even my parents are surprised, looking at their daughter glued to the tv watching this so-called men's thing. Dun worry lah...im not turning into a hunk just by watching 2 men punch one another in the ring ;]. Gonna miss the finale episode..as im back to college, ..huk2.. =/.Wonder who's gonna win the tittle, because all 4 stand a fair chance at winning, and i want all the 4 men to win, as they represent a true man and a champion spirit, they have good, brotherly relationship with each other, and their fighting spirit are unbelievable. Is it Sergio Mora, the Latin Snake, and the brainy one..or Peter Manfredo, who hold the third world ranking, an innocent-looking man but very tough in the ring...or Alfonso Gomez, the so-called underdog, but showed that he's a born fighter in the ring, ..or Jesse Brinkley, the cool, and ..well..dunno how to describe him. Whoever it is, may the best man wins..and im rooting for Sergio Mora..yeahh..!!! Contenders..go!

okay..okay..enuff for now..btw, im reading a good, interesting novel, "Joanna's Husband and David's Wife ". Gee..so, that's what and how a marriage is huh..? Kinda scary to accept that's how reality is. But i must say that the author did a wonderful job, as her novel is a little bit different from other novels ive read, it makes her work outstanding from others. It explored the mind of a wife, and a husband..what actually going on their mind compared to what is seen from outside by their spouse. And it proves, that man and woman..are born totally different, so let's not assume that we really know one another, there will always be surprises and things that we will never trully understand about the other gender.

bye...!

me..a dentist..? hmmm...=/

i went to clinic dgn kakak hari nih, for my routine appoinment with Dr. X. ( btw...i found Dr X very attractive today, in a fatherly way..dont get me wrong, he's old enuff to be my dad..). My sorethroat is getting better, thanks to Strepsils. A trip to clinic turned out to be sthg fun when u are accompanied with someone like my 'kakak'..heheh..she always makes me laugh ( seriously..kakak..unfunny things from ur mouth simply crack me up, or is it me who's so easy to tickle..?)... My 'mentor' in life, my big sister, my good friend, my make-up and dress consultant..my motivator ( her common words to me.." let me meng'anthonyrobbins'kan mung...=D).. , and now her new role, is to open her adik2 eyes on the importance of 'money-making'. Like what she said.." let the money work for us, not we become the slave of money..". She fits the tittle 'anaksulung' perfectly..her unstoppable drive to go for what she wants, her burning spirit to achieve her dreams..and in the same time leading her adik2 to be a better person. To conclude it all..she's the best, and abg zul better take good care of her, or her adik2 will form a batallion of army to protect our big sister..=[ ..heheh, nahh..just kidding, i know she'll be in good hand...=]..( gurau je abg zul..! =])

nway..im not here to talk about my sister, today in the clinic we met an important figure in our life, me and kakak. Kak Gee..our tutor when we were sitting for SPM years ago. My god.. i cant believe i just walked past her without noticing a person that ive been wanting to meet for so long...gladly kakak is more 'peka' than me as she spotted Kak Gee sitting alone in the clinic. We owed a lot to her, she taught me AddMath and Physics, patiently guiding me as i racked my brain learning 2 of my worst subjects in school. ( and to make matter worse, dhlah tak terer subjek tuh, tak suka pulak tuh, bila tak suka mulalah malas buat latihan..huk2..). Ayah will sent me to her house, where ill be sitting facing her for 2 hrs. She's one of the most noble person ive ever met in my life, she devoted her whole life to teaching students personally, mostly students from a lower socio-economic background. As for her, it's not the money she's after to, but it's the satisfaction in helping the less-fortunate ppl. She got a degree in engineering from oversea university, she has an excellent academic qualification,..if she wished to go for a more comfortable life, she could, but she chosed a different path. She follows her heart, and today she stood as one of the most loved of all by all her students..( esp me, who learnt a lot from her..arigato..kak gee!).As i looked at her walking out of the clinic, i noticed how she aged compared to the last time i saw her, how tired and ..alone..But one thing that still remains the same, is her smile, her humbleness and warmness, and that look in the eyes..the kind of look that only special ppl has. Ppl like her.

But one thing that cant seemed to be kicked out from my head, was when she repeatedly asked me one question i usually like to avoid, especially when i dont know the answer to. And when the question came from her mouth, someone i trully respect,..it makes it sounds more worse, 'scary' as i found myself pausing to give the answer. Why? Why the pause, why the doubt.? She asked 2-3 times, as her eyes locked into mine..( the ever inconfident me, when faced with someone whom i look up to...my weakness easily apparent to her..), i didnt answer straight away, and i could feel my uneasiness arised, and i mumbled out smthg, filled with unsureness.." ermm..yeah..i do, ermm..no actually,..the first 2 yrs tu saya main2..tak serious, naik 3rd year..baru rs enjoy sikit, rasa suka tu dtg..hheheh.."..( ohmygod, i sound like a 5 yrs old..=/).And after she's gone, the question keeps lingering in my head, buzzing in my ear...haunting me. I better find the answer fast.

.." are you happy with ur life, with what u are doing now..dentistry, i heard..?" - Kak Gee

And now im questioning myself the very same question...am i happy doing dentistry? Is this what i really want to do for the rest of my life..? and do i enjoy it..?..My...life is tough, and u'll start doubting urself when u cant answer a simple question like this.

blogging my life

some ppl came to me and said..
" ..arent you afraid opening urself in ur blog, u are sharing ur stories with strangers ..u know.."
"..waahh..what are u writing..? so long,..making this into some kind of a novel, is it..?"
"..u've been spending too much time with this blogstuff,..go get a life, will you..."

hmm..ppl..they'll remain being ppl anyway..

i believe i told several ppl before, that if i dont write, i wouldnt live normal. If i dont write, the stories in my head will be bugging me to put it into words, ( not like im writing anything as great as all the well-known authors )..it's just what i like doing. It's just what ive been doing since kid. Before i started writing in online journal, i wrote in books, until one day, my sister told me, why dont i share what i write with ppl, rather than keeping it only for my eyes. Basically, that's how i begin. If ppl found life in sports or acting, i found mine through pen and papers. If they think what im doing as sthg fruitless or no-life, too bad..im not impressing anyone here, this is life to me, and im enjoying it. Im just fulfilling a need in me, before venturing into sthg more than just jotting my thoughts in here. Who knows what future has in store for me...rite..? Test the water, before taking the plunge.

I enjoy reading other ppls' blog..friends and sisters. From there, we can see another part of them, that is not detectable and visible from outside. I like the feeling i get when i read ppls' thoughts, esp ppl that surprised me with 'the hidden side' of them that would only be shown from their writings. Their vulnerability, stuffs going on their mind, their hopes and dreams, their pasts and memories. Smtmes, i found myself laughing at their entries. And smtmes, what they wrote awakened me from things ive forgotten, it becomes an eye-opener to me in some ways. No matter how they write it, how they put it in words, how they 'blogged' it, ..we are the same bunch of ppl who dare enough to share a small part of ourselves with other ppl, and ppl we called strangers.

i never judge the blog owner, i just read what they wrote. Some are really good writers, who amazes me with their ideas. Some simply jot down their routine life, what they do, where they go. Some write short notes, compared to some others who spend hours writing lengthy entries...( err..someone like me kott.). Whatever it is, respect ppls' ways in living their life. If it's not considered 'fun' in ur eyes, it might be heaven to others.

As for me, i never know blogging would turn out as sthg that i do religiously. I like writing in here, seriously i do. It's like a portion of my dreams come true. I like thinking that what i wrote is read by ppl, it's like im some kind of magazine editor that her writing will appear at the 'Editors Column' weekly ..;]. I feel like im a real writer. Eventhough the contents are nothing, just stuffs in my mind, but knowing that perhaps some ppl might enjoy it, that it might benefits someone, and they can get sthg good from it, that some ppl might be entertained reading it...the satisfaction i feel after completing an entry is undescribable with words. Plus, im learning a lot myself, especially in polishing my English. If u noticed, there's a lot of grammar mistakes here and there, but too hell with all that. I know ive improved a lot, and ill keep learning. Surprisingly, i found myself enjoying every minute of it, the moments i spent flipping thru dictionaries, for the sake of enriching myself with vocabularies. It makes me appreciate myself more, grateful with this gift from Allah, an ability to express myself and see the world from a writer's eyes. But most of all, i want ppl, esp friends to know the real me, and not only assuming that they know me from what they hear and see. This is who i am,the thoughts i think and the things i feel, ..

Funny rite, when we like something, we'll do it, no matter what ppl say or think. U'll stay up late at night just to write, and it's even funnier when u are not sleepy one bit. U'll breathe a sigh of satisfaction and relief, just by doing the things u enjoy.

u think the people who are people

are people who look and think like u

but when u walk the footsteps of a stranger

u'll learn things u never knew

- from the movie 'Pocahontas'

the attraction factor

In the movie 'Gone With The Wind'..Scarlett O' Hara is deeply fond of Ashley,who later be the husband of Melanie ( ermm..have u watched this movie..=/ ?). She tried and did everything she could to win Ashley's heart. And she couldn't shift the feeling to other man, even after she's married to Rhett Butler, who loves and cares for her very much ( not to mention more handsome than Ashley =p). And in the end, when she finally realised that the man she was destined to is Rhett, when she came running to her husband, it was too late, the man had already given up and tired of trying and waiting, plus hurt, watching Scarlett hugging Ashley and comforting him passionately. Heh..i can still remember the last dialogue from Rhett, before he walked out the door, leaving Scarlett .." Frankly, my dear..i dont care a damn..."( with his baritone male voice..).

Hmm..an example of 'unexplainable attraction'.

I've read once,..or was it sthg i watched in nAtional GEographic, about how female and male insects attract one another in the mating season. A chemical thing is produced,..called the feromon, it's kind of a distinctive smell, that draw the male to the female, indicating that the female is ready for mating and is seeking partner ( kind of macam mengorat lah..kan..=] ) and the rest is.. i guess we all know what happens after that. Hmm..how beautiful things are working in this world rite..glory be to Allah.

What stirs my curiousity is..are there such things like that among us humans? I mean, how we become attracted to someone, is there sthg like magnetic power or an unseen bond that makes Ali drawn to Aminah, and vice versa..? Okay..before i write more, have it ever occured to you, questions like, why am i attracted to A, and not B, when both of them share equally the same qualities..? And what is it in C, that makes ur heart couldn't beat normally when he's around ? Or why in the world are u eyeing and hoping for D, who barely recognises or notices u, and not to E, who's always there, and has been trying wooing you for so long..? Weird rite,..hmm..? Or does all these have to do with what i term as 'the attraction factor'..?

Why we like a person or be attracted to someone, basically that's the point i'm pondering here. What is it in them or is it in us..? I always believe that attraction is sthg that we dont feel to every one. Strongly attracted to a particular types of ppl,..the one that a simple hello from them could make u grin excitedly like a maniac. The kind that makes ur day seems brighter and happier, just knowing that he's/she's there. What is the thing..is it just some kind of infatuation? Deep admiration that finally leads someone to be emotionally drawn to that person..? Or is physical attraction the reason behind all these..?

Some times ago, the theologian side in me said and believed ..that when we fancy someone, i mean strongly attracted for no reason, that person is also very much interested in you, ..heheh( okay..a bit of 'teori org perasan' la kott..,but i had a few examples of true experiences and ppl's stories which proved that my theory is right =D.) And knowing that my hypothesis was proven true, i was ecstatic , who wouldnt?! But..yeah, it's just some unreliable theory, and please..im not going to be responsible if someone out there tend to believe in this, and blame me later if it turns out to be wrong. Even scientists have experienced failured experiments. And most of the inventors like Thomas Alva Edison, Alexander Graham Bell..they failed like hundreds of times before they finally succeed.

Whatever it is, this force of nature that attract Adam and Eve..it must not be used as a reason to philander around when u are already married and commited to someone officially. Unless u are still single and available to consider and think about it, then perhaps further steps can be taken to create something between both of u. Because, as human with feelings, we are prone to fall for someone with common interest, a person u feel u have the 'chemistry' with, someone we feel comfortable talking to..even platonic relationship can turn to sthg more serious, when intense feelings are involved and felt. And to all married/engaged ppl out there who happens to suffer from ' Extra Marital Attraction Syndrome' ( no..dont look up for this words, i made it up..)..just bear in mind, that u are not free anymore, someone's waiting for u at home, that u have to be loyal and faithful to the one married to u. Needless to say, u just have to have a good conscience. In other words, there has to be some barriers, ' batas dlm pergaulan'..and that's the beauty of Islam, who guide us in every aspects of life.

This 'attraction factor' thing, like what some ppl say, is just lust. And if we let it take the lead, marriage can be broken, relationships between two lovers can faltered, and hatred and revenge created between ppl. Hmm..complicated it can be, if we let it be..

But still..hmm..i found the whole idea of 'attraction factor', when we are attracted to someone, who at the same time, having the exact aura of feeling towards us, both keeping it to themselves ( and that's where the problems lie..huhu..who's gonna make the first move then..?)..as sthg very ..hmm..well, i dont want to use that "R" word, i've used it often enough in my blog..;p. Let just say that it gives a wonderful feeling inside, knowing that perhaps hearts do have connections after all..

before i end, i found this while reading yesterday, just thought that it correlates well to the topic here. It's quoted from Jet Li, reading his interview, heheh..guess he's not only a tough kungfu fighter, but also a very noble man, with a good heart inside..and it just makes me like him more..( he's one of my fav actors in the world..;] )

"..like electricity, you need both the cord and the plug. Sometimes, if there are girls around me, it's a one way thing. They can express their feelings about me, but as long as i dont react back, there is nothing they can do. To clap you need both hands. If only the girl is extending her hand and you are not returning it, there is no result, there is no noise.."- Jet Li

bacalah..dengan nama Tuhan

td lepas mandi, terdengar suara kakak aku mengaji. Sedap jugak suara dia..

sekonyong-konyong ingatan aku kembali ke masa silam. Sewaktu aku dan kakak yg berusia 6-7 thn, bersila rapat, mengadap ayah selepas solat Maghrib. Dari muqaddam, hinggalah ke 'Quran besar'..( term yg kami guna dulu..), ayahlah guru mengaji kami. Dalam takut2 aku pada ayah, aku liat betul nak mengaji. Ada aje lah alasan..yg mostlynya tak berjaya utk membolehkan aku escape mengaji. Kalau demam tu, seboleh2 mungkin nak buat mcm separuh mati, kenapa..sbb nanti ayah bg miss mengaji. Aku mmg kanak2 yg penuh 'mischief' ms kecik dulu..=]. Ada sekali tu, idea jahat aku ni, setiap kali menyelak lembar baru, aku akan skip 2-3 page sekali,dengan harapan nanti cepatlah habis mengaji. Ingat ayah ni 'buta' sgt lah tu, sekali dia dpt tangkap aktiviti aku tuh, terus kena mula drpd awal semula. ISkks..

ayah mmg tegas dlm bab mengaji2 nih. Aku masih ingat lagi, malam pertama aku mula baca 'Quran besar'. Ayah hulur Quran warna ungu pd aku, kakak warna hijau. Ayah mulakan dengan menerangkan tentang dengung bacaan, kat huruf mana boleh berhenti, tanda bacaan dll. Ayah juga cakap, .." skarang dh naik 'Quran besar', kenalah baca betul2 , tak boleh main2 lagi..". Pada masa itu, tak dpt digambarkan betapa aku rasa sgt 'dewasa' dan bangga, aku buat muka tekun, riak wajah ayah masa tu masih jelas dlm kepala sampai sekarang, membayangkan betapa pentingnya saat tu pd aku. Ayah kalau masa ajar mengaji mmg serious, kakak pernah kena tahan mengaji sampai pukul 11 mlm, aku ingat lagi masa tu lampu dh tutup, tinggal Kak Dah buat keje kat dapur. Aku turun perlahan2 dan tengok dr tangga, kakak masih terbongkok2 mengadap Quran. Hmmm..

Dan begitulah seterusnya, sehingga aku dh boleh mengaji sendiri. Adik2 bwh lagi lah 'manja' jdnya, sbb mama yg ajar. ( biasalah..mama, lembut sikit, tak segarang ayah..) .Pun begitu, hasil didikan, dan penekanan akan pentingnya lidah fasih dan lancar menyebut ayat Tuhan, menjadi satu ilmu yg sgt berharga buat kami.

Semasa di Tadika Amal, setiap pagi akan ada sesi hafazan surah dgn cikgu. Dan aku ingat lagi, tak dpt lepas2 hafaz surah al-bayyinah, lama betul tersangkut kat situ. Sampai jd takut nak gi tadika, sbb asyik tak dpt, cikgu tu pulak piat dekat paha. Cikgu yg mengajar bercermin mata, bertuduh labuh dan purdah, dan sesi hafazan ni berjalan dengan seorg murid mengadap seorg cikgu. Akhirnya aku dpt satu cara, balik rumah, aku pakai tudung bulat yg aku jumpa dlm almari, ( agaknya kalau ade spek mata, aku pakai jugak )..duduk bersila dpn pintu, dan berlakon jd cikgu hafazan tuh. Aku ulang2 baca, dgn gaya dan mimik cikgu sedang mengajar kami menghafal. Rupa2nya 'lakonan' aku tu berkesan. Dek berulang2 kali baca, aku berjaya hafal surah itu. Dan begitulah seterusnya, kaedah 'tiru-gaya-cikgu' dh jadi cara aku menghafal surah. Hehe..antara manfaatnya daya imaginasi kanak2...

apa2 pun, ..tunjuk ajar ayah dan mama, serta cikgu2 dahulu,..selagi aku mengamalkan ilmu pengajian QUran ni, selagi itulah juga pahalanya turut mengalir pada mereka. Aku sgt bersyukur didedahkan dengan Kalam Tuhan ini dari usia 'rebung' aku, yg masih lembut dan mudah dibentuk. InsyaAllah, sebagaimana ayah mengorbankan masanya hari2 menjadi' tok guru' aku, satu hari nanti, ilmu yg sama yg dicurahkan pada aku, akan aku salurkan pulak pada anak2 aku.
Ya Allah..bantulah aku menghayati dan mendampingi Al-Quran-MU, dan jadikanlah aku, serta generasi selepasku, hamba-hamba yg menjadikan Al-Quran teman akrab kami sepanjang zaman...aminn.

footsteps of yesterday

tempat jatuh lagikan dikenang...

last month, i went to SMAPL. Visiting my 16th yr old sister, ( who smtmes acted like 6 yrs old..tulah mslhnya kalau 'bungsu tak jadi' nih..heheh ). And..oh boy..my former school has changed so much, far different from the time i was there, around 10 yrs ago..1995-1999.

As i was strolling along the corridor near the Dewan Seri Bestari..the memories filling my mind was overwhelming. It felt like it happenned yesterday..like im back being the innocent teenager walking around school area, seeking knowledge. ( yup..that's what i did at that time, now i wonder..where was that 'pencari ilmu' in me today..?). Every spot has its own stories..every place reminds me of sthg. Boy.. i am a nostalgic person..heheh...=]

The faces that are still vividly engraved in my heart. The moments that stays undisturbed somewhere in me. The familiar smell of dormitories and classes. The feeling of serenity and tranquil, being at a place where we grew up..to become a person we are today.

Thank you SMAPL..semoga terus melahirkan insan2, cemerlang ilmu dunia dan akhirat...

Lagu sekolah

1982, ditubuhkan dengan harapan waja
dalam cabaran dalan rintangan
akhirnya kau berdiri tetap megah

melahirkan anak-anak yg berjaya
kau cemerlang dlm segala-gala
menjadi kebanggaan nusa dan bangsa
generasimu intelektual ulama

bangun segera bersatulah
majukan sekolah menuju jaya
seagama sebangsa dan sealiran
tingkatkan persatuan menuju kehadapan

berilmu, beriman dan beramal
konsep menghadapi pembelajaran
ISlam panduan maju bersama
SEKOLAH MENENGAH AGAMA PERSEKUTUAN...
LABU..!!!( hehehe..yg ni kitorg selalu tambah..=])