pursuing love..

Mama pernah cakap begini “..kalau dia betul2 nakkan kita, dia akan berusaha …”. Ringkas kata2 mama, tapi mendalam maksud dia. Masa tu kat dapur, aku ni mana ade rahsia dgn mama, semuanya mama tahu, tak sangka pulak omongan kosong aku dgnnya hari tu, membuatkan aku sentiasa terfikirkan kata2 ni.

Benarkah begitu? Jadi, kalau si lelaki hanya diam membisu tanpa reaksi , maksudnya dia tidak bersungguh hendakkan si perempuan ? Pada mama, kumbang yg harus terbang ke arah bunga, dambakan madunya, bukan sebaliknya. Sumbang barangkali di mata mama, jika bunga yang terhegeh2 mahukan perhatian kumbang. Cela kah di mata generasi mama andai si dara yang terlebih dahulu menghulur tangan ?

Tapi pandangan kakak aku beza pula, ..menurut kakak, zaman sekarang, zaman globalisasi, zaman semua org bergerak pantas dan saling bersaing, kalau masih berfikiran lelaki yang harus mulakan dulu, alamatnya di takuk itu tak majulah kita. Dunia hari ini bukan lagi seperti zaman dulu, yang mana perempuan hanya menerima apa yg diberi dan akur mengangguk, hari ni perempuan terpelajar tinggi, luas pergaulan, tajam pandangan lantas menjadikan kita punya pilihan yang banyak. Jika dahulu frasa paling popular ialah “ perempuan, belajar tinggi mana pun, balik ceruk dapur jugak.”, tapi kini…perempuan dan lelaki sama hebat dan sama naik. Dapur, dapur juga, anak, anak juga..tapi bukan sekadar di situ sahaja peranan wanita hari ni, itu yg pasti.

Hmm...walau aku akui kebenaran kata2 kakak,..( and by the way, ayah aku pun bersetuju dgn kakak, now who's in the older generation nih, aku ke ayah..?!) dlm masa yg sama, aku juga kena akui yg dlm hal ni, aku agak kolot dan konservatif. Teringat plak lagu Ruffedge.. "...kita lakukan dgn cara yg lama.."..=]. Any comments on this , dear readers..?

Well..i rather keep my mouth shut. Let time tell...

Belum tersurat dalam hikayat,
Ayam keluar mencari musang,
Belum tersirat di dalam adat,
Bunga keluar mencari kumbang.
- lagu Siti Nurhaliza, one of my favourite..

life's like that

patient tak dtg..nak marah atau tensen, dah tak berkudrat dh..baik dtg menaip dlm ni..

kepala masih terasa sakit, dr mlm semalam, ingatkan sbb tidur tak menentu, tapi bgn paginya masih lagi pening2..kdg2 teringin jugak utk buat mcm sesetgh org yg menetapkan scr rutin waktu2 bgn dan tidur, meanings..tidur mesti pukul 12, bgn mesti pukul 5, sdgkan aku pulak ,ikut suka, ikut rasa, kiranya biological rhythm aku ni mcmana ye..

final exam yr 4 aku lagi sebulan lebih..issk, dh sgt tak lama rsnya, bak kata seorg prof aku, tolak2 tidur, mandi, makan, berjln..dll..tinggal dua hari je. Ngeri jugak kalau difikirkan begitu..=/. LPs tu, bulan 5 nanti , bergelar pelajar tahun akhirlah aku. Dh nak final yr..sungguh dunia ni semakin cepat putaran waktunya. Macam baru smlm, aku terhegeh2 mengheret beg sewaktu pendaftaran pelajar tahun pertama ..tiba2 dh pun di penghujung tahun empat. Hmmm...Dah bersedia ke aku utk berkhidmat dan mengaplikasikan ilmu aku ni kepada masyarakat?

Kdg2aku terfikir, perjalanan hidup aku ni, alangkah begini. Kebanyakannya yg terjadi, aku tak pernah terlintas lansung, dan kebanyakan bende yg aku angan2kan akan berlaku, tidak menjadi kenyataan. Seperti semasa aku menerima panggilan telefon dr kerani sekolah rendah, di akhir thn 1994, memaklumkan yg aku mendapat tawaran ke sekolah berasrama penuh di Negeri Sembilan. Lansung aku tak pernah terfikir akan bermukim di sana 5 thn. Yg ada dlm angan2 aku pd masa itu, ialah menyambung pengajian menengah di sekolah kakak aku.

begitu jugak dgn kehidupan aku sbg pelajar pergigian hari ni. Jika aku imbas kembali,sewaktu ditanya tentang cita2, atau sewaktu menulis maklumat diri dlm borang peribadi di sekolah, bende yg sama aku tulis,' cikgu, pensyarah,penulis,peguam, doktor'. Doktor gigi? Tak pernah terfikir di kepala aku . Rupanya lain perancangan Tuhan utk aku. Menerima sesuatu yg pada aku asing, yg aku tidak punya sebarang perasaan apatah lagi passion yg mendalam terhadapnya, aku tak rasa apa2. Namun alhamdulillah, ..sungguh, tiada yg lebih baik dr ini utk aku. Benarlah seperti maksud Al-quran.." Manusia merancang, Allah juga merancang, dan sesungguhnya Allah lah sebaik2 dan sesempurna perancang..".

rupanya beginilah hidup ni, ketidakpastian ttg apa yg akan berlaku esok, menjadikan manusia berusaha, berdoa dan bergantung pengharapan kepada Tuhan. Bersangka baik dgn Tuhan, ..di samping redha dan syukur dengan setiap kurniaan-Nya.. kerana percaya , Tuhan Maha Segala2nya, hanya Dia yg Maha Mengetahui apa yg terbaik utk hamba ciptaan-Nya ini.

tired...=/

just out from clinic..so tired, and hungry..but, my feet brought me here, instead of walking directly to surau to lie down while waiting for zohor..

i called 2 patients this morning, hoping that i could impress myself by treating two pts instead of one. Oklah..justme, u tried ur best, and i know i can do better next time. Still hesitating to start treating endo cases ( ermm.. endo cases means root canal treatment..). The first step is the hardest. Scared of sthg that's so unfamiliar to us. Like the first few steps from a toddler, keep falling down..cried out loud, but try standing again, again..and alas, succeeded. Have to learn more from the the world around me..instead of being scared and afraid, wasting my time seeking safety and security in every aspect of life.

i want to write more, wish to spend the whole day writing..but there's tons of other things to do. My left thumb still throbbed slightly, and i had to bandaged it while treating patient , to avoid cross infection. Got it cut as i was slicing down watermelon last weekend. As i examined my hands, left and right knocking on this keyboard, couldnt help but notices the difference between both hands. My right hand is bigger than my left..( okay, before anyone's wild imaginations start to picture anything monstrous, it's actually not that bad..), but noticeable, especially to a person who really observes and look at it meticulously. i remembered tracing both of my hands on papers ..( alah..masa kecik2 dulu, depangkan tgn atas kertas dan lalukan dgn pensel..), just to make sure my eyes were not tricking me. And yup, black and white confirmed.

talking about my hands, there were times when i envied my sister's long, delicate fingers, moving gently as she talks and runs it thru her hair. Secretly, i wished to have the same 'dancer's hand' like hers, so womanly and eye captivating. HEheh, but now im matured enough to learn and accept ppl's differences, realised that all Allah's creations are beautiful and unique, and has to serve important purposes in this world. With this hand of mine, im able to pass through my schooling yrs , with it too, i eat and write, enable me to do stuffs etc. And most importantly, with this big hand of mine, im a normal and complete human being, i have two hands, two feet,..two eyes, all paired up..alhamdulillah. HEheh...recalling my silblings stupid joke when we were a kid.." ..haa..nak cari cincin kawen susah ni, karang masukkan cincin takleh keluar plak.." Cehhh..=]

klah..gtg, bye..

" i complained that i have no shoes, until i met a man with no feet.."

when opportunity comes..

.."life is like a box of chocolate, we'll never know what we'll get.."- mama Forrest

Got this from the movie ' Forrest Gump'. First time hearing it, the actual meaning of this quote was beyond my thinking..u open a box of chocolate, chocolate is what u'll get rite..hehe, pretty obvious huh? But, a friend of mine explained..that the box of chocolate is a symbol of something that a lot of ppl are after to, many ppl adores chocolate,opening a box of chocolate in front crowds of ppl will result with them pushing and knocking each other to get a piece of it. And, because of that, the chances of everybody getting chocolate is not definite, the ppl at the back of crowd, the slow and unfortunate..will end up reaching hopefully in the box and became disappointed as all the chocolates are already taken. Hmm..what an analogy this is..

That's how opportunity in life is. Opportunity comes, in disguised form and simple ways, all surrounding us, ..but if we are slow, taking too much time making decision, scared to take the risk..( being pusillanimous, hehe..new vocabulary found in dictionary,specially dedicated to me..),being unsure and not courageous enough to go and fight along with everyone else battling for the opportunity..we'll end up like those ppl who reach for chocolates but getting none of it. If we are fortunate enough, we'll get a few last pieces , but as we know.. the last, unwanted chocolates are not as solid and perfect as the first batch of chocolates,..and we just have to bear the unsatisfaction of it..because that 's the only chocolate left for us. ..

im not babbling nonsense here..im talking serious. I had a few encounters with opportunities which i let slipped of my finger..mostly because i took such a long time considering, scared that i might make a mistakes bla..bla, and said to myself, .." alah..biarlah dulu, who knows ill get a better options later.." And when finally i had made up my mind,..when i got there, very much prepared and determined..it was gone. And u began hating urself for being too cautious and letting opportunity pass u by. Opportunity waits for no man..bear that in mind, justme!

okaylah..frankly, this frustration is caused mainly by yesterday's incident, going to the mall, to finally buy the sandal ive been eyeing for eternity, and been told by the salesperson that it sold out!! This is the second time sthg like this happens to me, before it was this perfect schoolbag which i believed was designed for me..( heheh..=p), i went to Sogo several times just for a peek at that 'one in a million' bag. And when i finally decisive enough to own it, it was gone. Not any left. Gee..justme, never really learn from previous stupidity huh? HUAaawwww...

well..there were some other similar episodes, even a more important ones, which left me wondering for some times the 'hikmah' of it. Hmm, whatever it is, like what my sister used to remind me .." It's not meant for you, it's not ur rezeki, Allah knows best, better things will come in the future, but u also have to learn from what happenned..that if u are slow, being undecisive and think too much about unnecessary things..the same thing will repeat..grow up and change..!"

So..lesson learnt, if i caught a sight of another brilliantly created bags or sandals..i will not think twice, ill grab it in a flash!!! ( oh my,justme ..that is the only thing u've learned.?!..)

before the year ends

Tonite, another dinner, and this year's college dinner is called the" Malam Kilauan Permata". The theme for tonite is RED, BLACK, WHITE. Hehehe, can't wait, ive borrowed my sister's glamour kurung batik, stunning red and black..sheesh bergaya ngan baju org tuh..=p

yesterday , as i was watching my favourite soap ( a Philipinnes serial drama.. simply addicting!)..i was instilled with a great idea, and im very excited to implement this amazing idea to my own life. No..not crying a bucket of tears over a lost lover like what the actor are doing in each episodes of that soap, or making your life so complicated and twisted over simple things..( and we wonder why serial dramas lasts until hundreds of episodes, ...) but it's something else, something that will make my anti-Chinese-Phililipines-Japan-serial-drama sister agrees with me , for once ..that not everything in serial dramas are useless and silly.

' 100 things to do before the year ends'. Got it from that drama, and personally i think it's a great thing to do. It'll make us look forward to each day of our life in a year, waking up every morning with an enthusiast spirit to complete the task of 100 to-do-list. And i believe, it'll also make our life more enriched, fulfilling, meaningful and above it all..it'll create a better person out of us. A more knowledgeble, healthy, multi-skilled, a fully-lived human being! Im just so excited to start making my list..hehe, so, what do u think, kakak? See, told ya that not all serial dramas are a waste of time ( ermm..eventhough this is not a strong point ,..) =]

klah, gtg, need to get my 'borrowed costume' ready for tonite,and im emptying my tummy as well...heheh, always like that, and i end up gobbling down food excessively, and regret it later..

cant wait to start listing down my 100 things to do before 2005 ends..tata!

tobacco cessation

kononnya nak jaga badan, lps tu pi hadap coklatlah ,biskutlah.dll, hmmph..

td competency test utk tobacco cessation. Aku panggil patient yg sgt sesuai utk jd patient exam bg kes nih, let’s just call him Mr. X. Alhamdulillah, eventhough I wasn’t fully prepared due to my extreme laziness during the past weekend, I managed to do it quite okay, but, biasalah, bende yg kita tak bersedia dgn sesungguh hati, kita pun tak 100% puas hati because kita tahu kita boleh buat lebih baik..kalau lebih well prepared.

If only smokers can see what we saw in their mouth, surely they will think twice before lighting another killer cigarette. Hmm..bila dh besar pjg, bukan boleh disuruh2 mcm budak2 dulu. We can only inform and warn the dangers and hazards caused by smoking, tp kalau still nak continue stuffing ur lungs with that ‘thing’..go on. Aku faham jugak, tak semua org berpeluang utk berpelajaran tinggi, krn lebih tinggi pengajian, lebih tahu ttg cara2 terbaik utk optimize hidup dan kesihatan. Tapi bila diri kurang kemampuan, tidak berpelajaran, ..kita nak explain dan expect dia utk faham dan lihat sepertimana kita, ..it’s not as easy as that. ( Cuma yg aku confuse tuh.boleh pulak beli berpek2 kotak rokok sehari, sekotak dah RM 6-7…cemene tuh..)

Td, kena pakai double mask sbb aku jd pening dek kuatnya bau asap rokok dr mulut pt. HAi..umur belum pun tua sgt, tapi..kalau nak dipendekkan dgn menghisap berpuluh2 btg sehari…silalah. Tadi, aku berdebat jap dgn patient partner, sbb tgk partner pun dh mati kutu nak jwb. Patient ni ckp ..”org2 lain, lagi tua, dah merokok seumur hidup, elok2 ada, tak mati pun, tak kena kanser ke apa..” Mata dia challenging pandang aku. Aku pun cakap..( dgn mata yg nak buat challenging jugak tp tak brp jd..sheesh..)..” memanglah ada, krn ajal dia bukan mlli situ, tp dgn berhenti merokok bukankah kita mengurangkan risiko yg mmg dh nyata2 atr faktor penyebabnya. Kalau org lain bawak kereta laju tak accident, habis kita pun nak bawak kereta laju jugak, dgn alasan ..tu, org lain tak mati pun...sdgkan kita dah tahu bahayanya bawak kereta laju nih..” Heh,,teringat plak zaman2 debat kat sekolah dulu..setakat simpanan je, apa taknya, aku pengecut!

klah..bnyk cerita plak aku nih..

tersedar..tp lama mana tahannya?

what a waste of weekend..=/

hate myself when i keep repeating the same mistake, ..today, i read in the paper an article about 'nAfsu'. And now i know, what stage of nafsu im in. While reading it, a surge of 'keinsafan' came seeping inside me, .. what an eye-opener , and alhamdulillha, i came across the article in berita harian. Mungkin Allah nak beritahu aku mlli cara itu.

A litte bit about the article, i'll summarise it a bit lah. The rest , u can look up in berita harian ,sunday 9th january, written by wan esma. A nice food for thought. NAfsu ni dikategorikan kepada 3,' nafsu mutthmainnah, nafsu lawwamah, dan nafsu ammarah'. Paling tinggi darjatnya, ialah nafsu mutthaminnah , yg turut disebut dlm al-Quran, surah al-fajr kalau tak silap. Kita sama2 berusaha perbaiki diri, utk meletakkan diri dlm golongan org2 yg beruntung ni.

And also, in mingguan malaysia, there's an interview with Dr Jemilah Mehmood, President oF MERCY. As i was reading her stories when she went to Banda Acheh helping the tsunamis victims, i couldnt help but felt amazed and proud of her, and also feeling a bit ashamed of myself, comparing my contribution to hers. USia bukan penghalang utk buat kebajikan semampu kita. All of her time , dia cuba sumbangkan utk manfaatkan ilmu dia ke jln Tuhan, dgn cara dia sendiri. Aku pulak, nak masuk 23 thn dh hidup nih, apa bende berfaedah yg aku boleh banggakan?..Asyik buang masa dgn sia2 je, sdgkan aku tahu dan percaya, dlm diri aku, punya bnyk kelebihan2 yg Allah kurniakan dan pinjamkan, aku aje yg suka bertangguh dan tak menghargai masa. Kalau aku mati esok2 lusa, apa bekalan na kbibawa menghadap Tuhan. Antara 3 perkara yg manusia akan bawa selepas mati, ' sedekah jariah kita, ilmu yg dimanfaatkan, doa anak2 yg soleh'..aku terasa takde apa2. YA Allah, beri aku peluang lagi, ..aku takut nak menghadap-Mu sekarang dlm keadaan aku yg begini...

Membaca pengalaman Dr Jemilah di Banda Acheh, air mata aku tumpah utk entah ke brp kali. Simpati dgn nasib kanak2, kasihankan ibu dan bapa yg sasau mencari anak yg hilang, menangisi penderitaan dan kesakitan mangsa yg cedera parah dlm keadaan sungguh kekurangan, dan insaf ..Kuasa Tuhan, Masya Allah. Kalau takde bende2 seperti ini, manusia pastinya akan terus hanyut..disedarkan sejenak agar manusia ingat, janji TUhan itu benar, Kuasa Dia yag Maha HEbat, sekelip mata malapetaka mengubah segala2nya.

aku kena stop dulu..nanti 'banjir' lagi..

adik

Adik bungsu aku baru telefon. Setiap kali hujung minggu, kalau aku tak balik rumah, dia akan telefon petang jumaat, tanya balik atau tak. Kalau aku cakap tak pasti lagi atau ade hal jumaat malam, dia akan telefon lagi sabtu ptg, tanya balik atau tidak. Sebagai kakak, .. pertanyaan dia tu aje dh buat aku nak balik..

Dan kalau hari ahadnya pulak, soalan dia akan tanya “ kak balik kolej mlm ni ke esok pagi?”. Kalau aku ckp tak pasti, dia akan merengek “ ala..baliklah esok pagi…”. Aku pernah tanya dia “ Adikni, kak balik esok pun, mlmnya kan adik dah tido, kalau tak tido pun , bukannya adik dok main dgn kak pun..”. Dia hanya sengih “ saja je…”. Adik..adik.

Mungkin kerana aku kakak dia yg dh besar dan sering berada di rumah, membuatkan dia mcm tu dgn aku. Walhal dia lebih rapat dan ngam dgn Imah dan Yah, dua org adik prpmn aku tu. Dgn Imah, dia boleh bergomol atas lantai berebutkan bilik air, dia boleh bergoncoh dgn Yah dan bergurau dgn Yah dgn cara yg memang tak pernah dia buat dgn aku. Dgn kakak sulung kami pulak, pastinya main playstation lebih menarik dan mencabar berbanding main dgn aku yg sering kalah aje nih. Dgn Bie pula, mungkin jarak usia mrk yg tak jauh beza membuatkan dia lebih nak bermanja dgn kakak2 yg lebih tua. Pendek kata, aku lihat dia lebih seronok dan terhibur dgn mereka berbanding aku. Apa2 pun ,setiap dr kelima2 kakak dia nih, punya peribadi dan perwatakan yg berbeza, cara kami juga berbeza dan dia juga dimanjakan dgn cara yg berbeza. Untung sungguh adik , ade seorg abang dan lima kakak. …tu yg best jd bungsu nih…

Sejak dr kecik, aku sgt manjakan dia. Rumah kami dulu, di Kuaters UM, aku melihat dia membesar , dari seorg bayi yg belum boleh membuka mata ( dan biru dagunya..hheh, sbb dia lemas terjerut tali pusat dlm perut mak..sampai sekarang kitorg masih ejek dia..) menjadi seorg kanak2 lelaki yg cerdas dan cergas. Beza usia 11 thn atr aku dgn dia, membuatkan aku berpeluang utk merasa menjaga dia, mendodoi dan mendukung ke hulu hilir berbanding adik2 aku yg lain. Semasa dia kecil dulu, aku akan meriba dia atas buaian pada waktu malam, dengan Bie dan Yah, sambil menghayun buaian selaju mungkin. Kami akan bernasyid satu lagu ke satu lagu, sambil menikmati nikmatnya angin malam mengenai rambut dan muka kami. Suara kami sungguh kuat, aku rasa mesti satu perumahan kuarters tu dgr ( sbb ade sekali tu, ayah tegur suruh slowkan sikit volume..heheh). Dan adik akan lena dlm ribaan aku. Begitulah rutinnya , boleh kata hampir setiap malam kami akan berbuai dan melaungkan nasyid. Kadang2 kami akan berangan, seolah2 buaian ni akan terbang ke langit dan dapat melihat bintang dari dekat.

Setahun ke setahun yg seterusnya,aku dan yg lain bersekolah asrama, sekali sekala dpt cuti balik, dan melihat adik semakin membesar. Aku ingat ade sekali tu aku masih bersekolah di SMAPL, telefon ke rumah, adik yg angkat, aku menyangkakan Bie kerana dia sudah lancar dan fasih bercakap. Setiap kali balik dr asrama, aku cuba utk bawa balik sthg utk dia, walaupun sebenaranya tak elok diajar budak2 dgn buah tangan yg kerap, aku tetap nak bw balik coklat atau apa2 yg pd aku akan menyeronokkan dia…

Sekarang ni , adik dh pun darjah enam. Tahun depan, dia akan menginjak ke sekolah menengah dan seperti kakak2 dan abangnya, ayah pasti akan masukkan adik ke sekolah berasrama. Tak lama lagi, dah takde org yg akan menelefon aku setiap hujung minggu lagi utk tanya soalan “kak , balik atau tak ..?”. Aku pasti akan merindui kelibat dia yg akan melonjak keriangan bila aku membuka pintu rumah dengan seplastik roti john atau apam balik di tangan aku. Mungkin pada masa itu juga, adik bungsu aku yg manja dan suka bermesra2 dengan kakaknya ini, sudah pun dewasa, dah rasa malu nak buat itu semua. Aku pasti akan rasa kehilangan dia,..

Jadi , sementara dia masih ‘anak kecil’ di mata aku dan kami semua, aku nak memanfaatkan waktu2 ni bersama dia, bermain dan melayani rengekan2 dia. Selagi masih punya peluang.

InsyaAllah,adik …minggu depan kak balik, nanti kak beli komik ‘Dik Cerdas’ yg adik pesan tu. Tunggu ya..

yawning early morning..

huaargggh..=/

yup..that's quite like it, feeling sleepy and uninterested early monday morning, not only because of monday.., but also it's the starting of another hectic routine after a week break..'just another manic monday...'

speaking of sleepiness, i do have a tendecy to feel sleepy early morning, i'm quite quizzical about it. Since my seconday school, i had to fight the urge to stay awake, and peculiarly, it happenned only early mornings. It's like a curse, ..that will shows its sign on me by causing me to yawn and drop my eyelids several times around 8 to 10 am. After that 'haunted' hrs, im awake as ever. Sheesh..because of this unknown condition of mine..( im making it sounds as if this is so traumatic and im the symphatized victim ), i had several embarrassing situations, that made me the center of attention for a few minutes ...and...no..i dont want to share with the entire world what's those were..hehee..glady im the kind that can laugh at my own stupidity and silly memories..

it's not that i haven't done anything to cure this 'mysterious' disease, not to mention supplements taken because i thought im lacking in certain nutrients ( which is so hard to believe looking at my own reflection in the mirror, "..that girl tak cukup zat?!..yeah rite!.."). I did try a few tactics taught by friends and mostly my sisters. Among advices given are :
1. be active by asking questions ( never really did that, because usually i waited till lectures ended and approached the lecturer later..)
2. focus and give ur 100% attention undividedly..( that's what i did, but it only managed to last me for half an hour and i doze off)
3. take notes and scribbles furiously , to keep ur body and muscles working so u wont loll to sleep.. ( gee.. i did that all the time, but after the class ended, the notes written are so " scribbled' i couldnt even guess what i wrote because my pen moved to 'variety' of directions..and i call it 'the art of sleepiness')
4. tease ur friends around you..make funny faces..( ermm..okay, tried it a few times, but got a daggering stare from ppl..)
5. look at other ppl in the room who's sleepy as well..( haa..this is one thing i like doing, heheh..looking at ppl's faces when they are half-awake-half-asleep will NEVER cause anyone to sleep..ewahh..gelakkan org pandai..)

okaylah..got to stop, my class starting less than 5 mins..hey, im fully refreshed and energetic after writing in here, perhaps the movements of fingers and pouring out words from ur mind can cause u alertness..hah. another new tactic found!..klah..really gtg..tata!

new year, new resolutions

farewell 2004, and welcome 2005!!

eventhough celebrating new year is at the bottom of everyone's mind, ( as everyone are concerned about tsunami..), i couldnt help wishing myself HAPPY NEW YEAR..like i did every year. And during those past years, i always waited for 12.00 midnight,.with new resolutions listed in mind..( and ususally i had to bring the last yrs resolutions along as it was not succeded yet..)..

but unfortunately for this year of 2005, i fall asleep and woke up late..lansung terlupa ttg tahun baru..but, yeah..as we grow up , i dunno org lain, it become less and less exciting..

issh..tadi berkepuk rs idea nak menulis, takde mood plak..later lah..

and btw..what is this yr's resolutions..huh?...