23 January 2006

beauty vs material..( sigh..)

( this entry was suppsed to be posted earlier, when the issue was 'burning' hot,now...heheh., dh 'suam-suam kuku' dh...but still, baca jelah..=])

Topic yg hangat mcm ‘goreng pisang panas’ in the Sunday paper. I followed with a mixture of feelings. Interested, amused, disbelief , plus a little bit exasperated, considering the discussion which is leading nowhere. Why? Because the debate is about the nature of man and woman. So..basically, no matter how many times ppl grumble about men being like this, or women acting like that..they are just being themselves! =P

Not to say im defending men or women. And I don’t say that I agree with all the points stated, that all women are materialistic, and entire men on earth are beautylistik ( err..ada ke perkataan nih..? =/). But realistically speaking, no matter how we pretend to deny the fact, bite our tongue and play deaf, it’s true. Why..? ill tell u why. Before tht, may i switch to Malay? I think I will be able to write better in it.

Kerana nafsu yg melahirkan kehendak2 kepada kecantikan dan kemewahan. Dan kecenderungan nafsu yg berbeza atr lelaki dan prpmn. Yg dpt mengelakkan manusia drpd menjadi “—listik”, tak kirala apa2 ‘-listik’ pun, ialah akal dan iman agar kita waras dan tidak dipandu oleh tuntutan2 nafsu yg takde kesudahannya ni. Semua manusia nak hidup senang dan mewah, tipu kalau org kata dia tak berhajat nak hidup senang krn atr sifat manusia yg diciptakan Tuhan ialah berkecenderungan terhadap kebendaan dan keindahan.

Cuma silap bila ia berlebihan dan keterlaluan. Dan menyedari sifat manusia ini, Islam ajar manusia agar berusaha, berdoa, dan bertawakal, ‘zuhud’, redha dan percaya kpd qadak dan qadar, baru manusia tidak tenggelam dengan kehendak ‘nak cantik dan nak kaya’ ni. Usaha jika hendakkan sesuatu, dlm masa yg sama berdoa dan minta pd Tuhan, dan redha serta bersyukur dgn apa yg diberi.

Jadi, tak salah perempuan atau lelaki memilih material atau rupa selagi ia tidak keterlaluan. Sedang Islam juga melandaskan syarat pemilihan psgn kepada 4 perkara;harta,keturunan, rupa dan agama. CUma jgnlah itu menjadi sasaran dan matlamat utama. Itu shj.

Seperkara lagi, lelaki dok bising ckp perempuan pilih material, yg hang dok lengut pemalas tak berusaha tuh, memanglah sampai ke tua membujang. Perlu difikir jugak resam masyarakat kita nih, women once they are married, drpd kebergantungan kpd ibu ayahnya dia beralih kepada suaminya, meanings that suami yg akan jadi pelindung, ketua dan penyara keluarga. Tempat seorg isteri merasa selamat, emosi dan luaran. Bukan sekadar nak kenyang dgn bercinta je. Woman needs to feel that they can depend on this guy, able to converse their mind and heart out, and this needs the ‘ke'sekufu'an’ or ‘compatibility’ in sense of thinking, living and future planning. Kalau org perempuannya berfikir zaman 2000, tapi yg lelakinya zaman 1950an ..where’s the compatibility there..? Fuuh..some talk from a single girll..ehhehe.( I really should write back to that paper..).

In short, (after a long rambling).. guys, berusaha utk majukan diri and stop pointing fingers to women accusing them of being ‘materialistik’. Trust me, that’s not what really important to a woman. Harta benda boleh dicari bersama and personally, I prefer it that way as I think tht ‘pencarian bersama’ nih will make a marriage more sweet and strong as everything were started from scratch and learnt together from zero. But the attitude towards life, that’s what matters. And that what differ one man to another. A positive, down-to-earth guy who works hard to make a living, plus possess some leadership qualities and strong faith in religion ( for me this is important, I want him to be my ‘imam’ sembahyang’..=]).. it's lucky for any woman to found a man like this.

Another thing a guy should realise is that, women nowadays are getting smarter and more independent. If u still think that women are still the one who follow meekly behind u, nodding to ur every words and letting men order us around, please book a ticket and go back to the dark ages. U don’t seem to be suitable living in the today’s world where women and guys are raising higher and faster each day. And..did I mention ‘together’ ? Yes, together.


But women, once we are married, it's important to bear in mind tht a wife is forever the wife, with duties and obligations to obey husband, respect and be loyal to him. Work all the way, be outspoken and all, but back at home, leave the briefcase aside and shut all office's woes. We are mothers and wives, that's our main roles in life. Never forget that fact..(shessh.. karang tak cium bau syurga nanti derhaka dgn laki..=] )

Heheh..did I go overboard ? Sorry ya, if my words hurt anyone, didn’t intend to. Next time ,ill hit the women plak..okeh? deal,.

3 comments:

ghoyye said...

fuhh! another brilliant entry i must say. god u shud be a columnist la! hehe. well done and keep up the good work :)

justme said...

ehhe..ghoyee, dont 'puji2'-lah, i have a teeny problem with 'pujian', it makes me 'perasan'....ahaks!=p

but thanks..it makes me really happy knowing tht i have friends around the globe reading my piece of writings,..=]

aLam said...

itulah cabaran semasa. Dulu, mak bapak boleh monitor anak pompuan 24jam. Sampai umur 16 tahun je dah selamat tanggungjawab kat laki pulak. Sekejap je, suci dan bersih tak sempat nak jadi jahat.tu pasal dulu pilihan mak bapak lebih bahagia. Sekarang, nak nampak anak pun lepas opis hour, kul 11 mlm dah tido dah.
sekarang zaman yang sophisfikated,orang tua pun tak faham anak2 zaman sekarang. Kat rumah sopan santun,kat luar macam lanun. Bagi laki2 nak suruh mak bapak carikan adalah sesuatu yang paranoid. Kalau mereka boleh tipu mak bapak diorg,apatah lagi mak bapak kita. Nak cari sendiri pun satu hal. Sekarang ramai pompuan yang bertudung,bersekolah agama pun rosak akhlak. Akhirnya lelaki gak terseksa dgn dilemma akibat prejudis dan syak wasangka sendiri.
Tak semua lelaki hanya sukakan perempuan yang cantik (mungkin juga inferiority pasal diri tak hensem). Most of them seek for the inner beauty. Tapi kerana paranoid itu, semua perempuan sama ada cantik atau tidak adalah sama sahaja. Yg nak senang, sambar je lah yang cun. Kata diorg, budi pekerti boleh dibentuk, paras rupa tak boleh tukar kecuali mikael jackson.
So rasanya yg paling baik adalah keterbukaan dan baik sangka. Bila kita senang terima pendapat dan berkawan, lebih senang mereka tunjukkan hati budi mereka. Dalam ramai2 tu mesti ada yg best.
Kawanlah biar seribu, cinta biar satu atau dua hingga empat kalau mampu :p

-2senfromonlyablogger-