31 July 2006

trivial facts

I found out a few things about myself. A self-realisation..? Dunno..tht sound too grand....eheheheh.

like alwys, i went out alone today. Spent the first few hours seeing DrX, yeah yeah..it's the allergy again. Alhamdulillah, it's geting better. Looks like i still need him, ops..i mean the pharmacalogical help....=p. Maybe i really should start thinking of finding a fresher air somewhere else, far away from this not-so-healthy environment. And after tht, spend some time in my fav place, Borders. Yeap. Where else. And make friend with the security guard, who every 2 second lingered around the bench i was sitting probably thinking.." when is this girl gonna purchase this book she's hogging for hours..?" Heh. He came to me, asking a few detective quesions. I think someone must have stolen sthg nearby, which i was unaware and oblivious about, quite engrossed with the book im reading. "..noo..i didnt see anything. No. didnt realise tht either..". Hehe..Me, a witness at a crime scene, unfortunately, not much help given.

oohh. ok....back to the point, the few things i learn about myself.

1. I used to avoid reading in moving transport, because it would make me feel quite dizzy. But today, i read in the monorail, and no, i didnt feel any dizziness at all. Hmm. Maybe because it's a novel, not a newspaper, with small letters which i really have to strain my eyes on each. Plus it's quite hard as i keep getting lost . Nevermind. ill just read novel next time. =]

2. And i realised tht i dont mind going out without any make-ups on. Hmm. Usually i'll at least put some moisturiser or foundation and smudge some lipgloss on, but today, i just wear my headscarf and out i go. Ok,ok.. u are right, because i was late, ehehe..and also because of the allergy flaring up on my face.., so make-ups are forbidden. Heh, still i can go all the way to TimesSquare. Bravo naz. = !

2. I used to think too that im not able to read and eat at the same time, it's hard to focus on either. But when u go out alone, and u feel hungry, and need to find an eatery... eating alone and not doing anything makes u look at ppl around, and ppl look at u. Suddenly, the uncomfortable feeling will ..yeah, smtmes. So.. read and eat. Not bad. Not that hard to focus, naz.. And i realise it makes u eat a lot more than u are supposed to,..'cos tetiba je.."aikk,,dh habis..?". The food, i mean..ehehe. And, knowing myself, i would want to avoid reading my kakak's book while i eat, cos..eheh, i dunno when my klutziness will show. Staining her books with coffee or ketchup..hmm, let just say that'll be the end of my borrowing her precious novels. eheheh.

4. i really, really like Aunt Anne's pretzel. Really like. =]

5. i alwys know tht i have a terrible sense of direction. But getting lost in department store, is simply, utterly unacceptable. Like when im out alone, i would pretend tht im looking for someone when the actual truth is im looking for my way out, or any possible recognisable alleys which would bring me out safely. And if im out with a friend, and we got separated in the mall, they would call my hp asking of my whereabouts..and answers like.." ermm.. im not really sure where actually ..ermm, im standing between the pots and pans, and a huge brown carpet , and there's this big sign of bla bla bla..." would come out =/.

6. ooh..and now, i like Kenny Rogers Roasters too. Just mentioning its name, my tummy grumble furiously...yummy! =D

7. and i dont like a marzipan taste =[

8. yeah..i am quite 'kolot' and way too careful about many things. Not that i dont realise this one fact before, but..when sthg happens, it makes me more certain of my 'kekolotan' or my reserved-ness..eheheh. Dunno-lah. It's just how or who i am, i think. Things like, not giving away my phone numbers easily, and alwys finding excuse to avoid meeting up some ppl, which im not comfortable at doing..( im sorry ), or when i sense tht....." uh-oh, this might lead to somewhere u dont want urself to be in..". Im not an anti-social, if tht's what u are thinking, it just,...smtmes, i tend to weigh the pros-and-cons of my action too much, and if the cons are more, i prefer not doing it. Avoid having complications and problems later on. Am i being too careful with life..? Hmm..maybe i should re-think about this one fact, try to be more be open to opportunities and options. To take more risks in life. And think less...naz, worry less...that is.

...okay, enuff blogging for today..bye everyone! =D

24 July 2006

riding in the car with ayah

The best time to talk with ayah is when he's driving in his car with me sitting next the driver's seat. The two of us. Father and daughter.

Like yesterday. I accompanied him driving to Kajang, Labu and Puchong, usually he'll go anywhere with mama, but since mom is not here and im the only 'penganggur' at home, my Sunday was later spent in the car with him. My earlier plan was to snuggle cosily in the seat and sleep, expecting my father to be absorbed with his fav radio station, KLfm or listening to his collection of Quran recitals. But instead..we spent the whole time talking, or more accurately speaking, he talked and i listened..eheh. And it turned out to be one of the poignant moment that i never want to forget, just by listening to his stories within that few hours together. Not that we seldom talk, but having a real father-daughter talk, the kind of conversation that i want to remember forever, his words and wisdom that i hope would guide me when he's no longer here.

My father is a real story-teller, maybe because he likes talking so much, eheh. Of course,...he's a lecturer who has to talk, obviously. My father is the guy who crack jokes in the house, and create uproarious laughter. His fav target to tease, who else, no other than my mom. He teases her endlessly, till smtmes it makes me think.." does he ever got bored or lose ideas ..?" Naah, never....he alwys come up with a new point to 'usik', and the laughter starts all over again.

Yesterday, he shared with me about many things. About life in general. About ppl. The cruel truth about human being, holding the tittle 'friends'. His childhood and adolescent years. About his love life with mama ;]. About missing his late mom ( arwah mok nab). Basically, about all the things i need to know, esp at this stage of my life. As if he could read my mind, he opens up and tells his stories, indirectly teaching me about life and answering the questions in my mind.

Throughout our talk, i noticed the changes of intonations in his voice. Sometimes, he sounds so 'bersemangat', along with his hand's motion. ( which caused me glancing worriedly at the steering wheel..eheh ). At certain time, his voice become deep and serious when he reflected his old memories. And i couldnt help but to sense his sadness at the mention of 'arwah mok nab'. As his eyes fixed to the road, he talked and talked. And i had to bit my lip a few time to prevent the tears stinging my eyes from trickling down, which dont ask me why..im alwys like tht ( maybe becos im a Water..?)..hearing my parent's words has that effect on me smtmes.

And i realised one thing too, how im so much similar to my father than my mom, in term of thinking. But he's the extrovert type , who speaks out things in his mind while im more introvert, who likes to keep it to myself, or write it out in here. I was surprised to hear him say the exact words i had in my head and share the same sentiments about things. Hmm..i am his daughter after all,..eheh..

Im glad that he did not listen to the 'stories'. Im glad he took actions based on his own judgement. And im mostly glad and grateful that he's my 'ayoh', who tried his best to be the best father to me and my siblings.

" kita dah berada di suatu yg tempat yang teduh, yg mana di sini kita bahagia, semua cukup dan ada. Tapi kita nak pergi berlari ke tempat lain, yg dari jauh kita nampak lebih baik dr tempat berteduh kita sekarang..sedangkan kita tak tahu lagi. Kita gadaikan keteduhan yg kita ada untuk ke tempat itu. Nasib tak baik, mungkin kena panah petir tengah jalan dan tempat yg kita tuju tu tak seteduh yg kita harapkan..." - his opinion about polygamy,..lucky mama, ayah never thought of tht option..=]

" kalau sesuatu perkara yg kita nak buat membawa kepada manfaat atau kebaikan, baru kita buat. Tapi kalau perkara itu membawa bersama risiko keburukan yg dh nyata, tapi kita saja-saja nak cuba, nak rasa..baik jgn buat.." - thanks ayoh, i learn from this.....

"..ibu bapa akan memberi pandangan dan penyelesaian yang terbaik untuk anaknya, hanya yang terbaik,.." -hmm..exactly...

"..dalam perhubungan kita dgn pasangan kita, mesti amalkan berterus-terang. Ayah jenis yang bercerita semua pada mama, berterus-terang dari zaman bercinta sampai sekarang...takde sorok apa-apa.. dan begitu jugak ayah ckp pd mama, apa2 hal mesti berterus-terang.." - insyaAllah, ..=]

Dan ayah sebutkan sepotong kata pesanan Allah dlm Al-Quran, Surah Al-Hujuurat, ayat 6 yang bermaksud :" Hai orang-orang yang beriman, jika datang kepadamu orang fasik membawa suatu berita, maka periksalah dengan teliti, agar kamu tidak menimpakan suatu musibah kepada suatu kaum tanpa mengetahui keadaannya yang menyebabkan kamu menyesal atas perbuatanmu itu.."

My ayah might not be the perfect man, or the perfect father. He has his strength, and like all other humans, he has his own weaknesses. But he's my father, who i know would give his world to us, who alwys put our needs and happines before himself. Who, beneath his serious look, lights up our house with his jokes and teasing. Who would let me sleep through the morning instead of waking me up to fix his breakfast. He would let the curtains down, to prevent the streaking sun from disturbing my sleep.

" ...ayah besarkan anak-anak ayah bagai menatang minyak yang penuh..jadi bila sampai masa nak melepaskan anak ke tangan orang.. bukanlah mudah. Dalam kepala risau dan fikir "bolehkah orang ini menyayangi, menjaga dan melindungi mereka ?"..."

Ayah..thank you very much. For everything.

21 July 2006

lesson in life


i alwys try my best to see the good in every ppl. When someone did sthg that hurt me, i would think, " this person didnt intend to do this, i must be over-ly sensitive here.." And it will end there, no hard feelings whatsoever. When someone point out finger at a person, saying all sorts of accusation and negative remarks about him/her..i would not believe or accept the words based solely on what i hear. Until the evidence are laid in front of my eyes, or that person claimed by others as nasty, do sthg to me, that makes me can't find any other way to see him/her as nice or harmless anymore.

And i've learnt, that some ppl are just plain nasty. When they want things to go their way, they'll do anything they could. Either they show their bitchiness or nastiness openly, or they mask their real intention with kindness. And the latter is the tricky one ,'cos u just dunno what's their hidden agenda and that makes them sort of dangerous, especially for some trusting, blurr and clueless ppl. If only they would just show their true colours, instead of putting a sweet face but at the same time killing u softly inside, attacking ur most vulnerable part and draw clouds in ur mind, as they played their game, watching u fall into their trap. There is only one word i can use to describe this type of people, they are 'cunning manipulator'.

No matter how u try to be positive, hope that u could kill the negative thoughts, sadly.. their nastiness just keep repeating itself in front of u, and u just have to give up trying.

One advice, avoid this type of people. They suck the energy out of u, leaving u feeling rotten and terrible. One thing for sure, they are not to be trusted. And what worrying is, the words they said, the psychological attack they implied on u..cause a permanent damage to ur once 'neutral' mind. If u let it be.

"... learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.."

20 July 2006


" kita tak boleh nak terlalu baik, kerana kita akan dijadikan mangsa orang lain.."
" tak boleh lurus sangat dlm hidup nih, kak ..nanti orang pijak.."

Among a few of my father’s words to me, quite an unlikely advice from a father ..hehe, but considering he knows his daughter best ...

Lurus. Or terlalu jujur. Aren’t honesty is regarded as ‘mulia’ and were taught to us since primary school. To be honest..

I never really see myself as an ‘honest’ or jujur person. I only try to be the best human that I can. I always said to myself, “ treat ppl the way u want them to treat you ”. But..sadly, the world is not ‘kind’ enough for us to adopt that 'naive' thinking all the time. Even when the inside of you want to smile, at certain places and to some ppl, u just have to put a serious, no-nonsense expression to prevent you from being toyed around their finger. Sthg which im still learning a lot myself.

If only people are more honest to one another, no lies or back-stabbing, no twisted statements or breaching trust, no self-centeredness or manipulations of others for personal gain..hmm, if every homo sapiens in this world are that saint, maybe we can even invite strangers home for a chat. And businesses can be run without putting elements of ‘white lies’ to make it work. Heh…dream on, naz..the world of kindness, is that too much to ask..? Recalling what my father said when I grumbled to him years ago "...kenapalah nak diadakan org jahat dlm dunia nih..?” His brief response to my query was "..kalau tak, takdelah pulak syurga neraka…”. Hmm..make sense.

I really want to teach my kids ( insyaAllah, one day..) to smile and politely greet people they meet along the way. I want them to know that it’s okay to accept stranger’s kind gesture and repay the generousity, so that they would grow up as a person with kind thoughts to others, to alwys ‘berbaik sangka’. I want them to be a good human being, be humble and nice to other people and spread kindness around them. But....considering the state of our world nowadays which is no longer safe..let just hope that we wouldn’t have to lock up our kids in the house in order to protect them from the dangers of cold-blooded humans!

May our future promise us better days of peace and harmony..amiin.

" Honesty is the best policy, but there's no harm to dodge around a little "..( oh really..? hmm...i dunno, quite disagree with this )

17 July 2006


woke up this morning with a troubling light-headedness, feels like the world is moving and had to close my eyes to reduce the nauseated feeling. What a way to start the day...hmm..

Not a bit of energy, more else enthusiasm, hmm..( nothing to be enthusiastic about anyway..). With the allergy manifesting itself early morning, and the bugging dizziness,..dragging my feet around the house seems like an acceptable thing to do. And now here i am, staring at the comp, racking my brain to complete my mom's 15 pages essay..(and btw, who in the world is 'rajin' enuff to read an essay tht long..? )

and i dont know what's wrong with me now but im turning into a forgetful, absent-minded woman..who is so unlike me. ( oohh..here's the drama queen, im exaggerating, ok ..it's not tht bad..=p ). But seriously..i used to know exactly where all my things are, from the smallest of thing like eraser or paperclips. Seldom have problem with losing or misplacing things as im quite particular with my stuffs. But i dunno, in less than a month, ive lost two things, okay..accurately speaking, i dont know where i put them. Been poking my head around the house, looking for it but to no avail, and im geting really frustrated. I cant even retrieve the last time i hold the CD or the EPO ( it's evening primrose oil..). Usually if i lose things, i would sit quietly and try to recall the last time i see it, and would follow the track that would lead me to it. Been trying the method, but ..no sign of success yet. Haihh..something must be occupying my mind totally..( or..is it someone..?hmm )

orait2..time to start working on the essay. What's 'minda kelas pertama' anyway..when u dont really understand the topic, how to write..?

Two weddings to attend,..another gift-hunting session, ..hmm..i like shopping, or going out window-shopping. But to buy a gift, it takes forever for me..!

orait..the essay naz..!

15 July 2006



A common saying ‘waiting is torturing' (penantian satu penyiksaan). Yeah..it is in certain situation, like when u are running late to go somewhere, but have to wait through gritted teeth for a veeerrrrry slow friend. And at the end, u are both late. In this case, the torture inside is to control the urge from shouting in anger to that ‘snail’ friend of urs but u can’t u do that. The fight to remain calm when u feel like ‘strangling’ tht person who makes u late for sthg important, with no acceptable or valid reason other than “..alaa..belum gosok baju…lah..”

And it kills too, when u have expected something to come, or to happen. How to explain this..hmm..like when u know someone is coming, and u had prepared everything. As u wait, u keep glancing at the clock and said to urself “ okay, another hour to go.” . And if that person is late, u would say..” okay, another 2 second, maybe it’s traffic jam..”. But that person never turned up. It tortures you..because u have expect that person to come, and was mentally hoping for it.

Waiting is sthg im used to since kid. When I was 6, I would wait for my big sister to come back from school. ( as I quit my tadika and have to stay at home, =/ ). Everyday. And would drool enviously listening to her stories about her days at school, her friends, ..and couldn’t wait to start going to school myself. (hehe..kakak..now I realise, I begin ‘following’ u since then.=p)

And when I was at CBN, again, I would wait patiently for my dad to come pick us up. ( when we had to stay back for the curricular activity, or when we missed our school bus due to one person’s ‘skema-ness’ who rigorously clean her classroom in spite of her two sisters disapproving and impatient glare ! =p). As I wait for my dad’s red Ford Laser, to kill the time, I counted the number of cars passing in front of me. I played with the bunch of keychains tangling at my pencil case or played ‘batu seremban’, the favorite game back during tht time. And it was within that period of waiting too, that i developed the habit of observing ppl from far. The thing about me is when I wait, I really wait. Not going anywhere, as I was scared that if i wander around, he would arrive and have trouble to find us.

And up until now, i still do the ‘waiting’. I have to wait for the bus, or the train. I wait for my friends to finish their shopping (err..actually it’s alwys the other way round..ehehe). Waiting for a call. Waiting for the right time to say or do sthg. Waiting is practically something we do all our life. And it's not that tormenting, provided we dont fret or grumble during the waiting period, and use the time to do sthg useful. (yeah2..easier said than done..i know.)

How to make waiting not too torturing..?
- think positive thoughts while u wait. Kill negative images or words which haunts by repeating to urself that.."everything's going to turn out allright..". Reassure urself when worriness surrounds you. Invite in only positive and kind words..trust me, it helps ..

-Instead of frowning and grumbling away, cursing the person or thing that makes u wait, share ur smile with the ppl around or who's waiting along with u at the bus stop. It brightens ur face, helps to cheer other ppl's mundane mood and u get pahala as well..=].. A smile from ur heart..!

-Keep urself busy ( though i know, it's really hard to concentrate on anything, esp when u are waiting for a call ). Clean ur room, read a book ( make sure it's a really interesting book! ), basically do whatever u could to avoid staring at the clock.

- if u are waiting for someone at public places, try 'people-watching'. No dodgily-staring at people, please..just subtly look, and let ur mind work, making a story about that person's life. Who is he..? What kind of work he's doing, judging from what ur eyes see, ..it can be quite interesting..and it helps to kill the time..

There are other ways, to make waiting not such a bad thing. Just, dont lose hope while u are waiting. The train will arrive, the person will come..it's just the matter of time. And if the person whom u are anticipatingly waited for fail to make an appearance, or late..tell urself that he/she doesnt intend to do so. There has to be a reason to why it happens. Rationalise the situation,,and u'll feel better.

" kalau kita menunggu dengan sabar, perkara baik akan menyusul..."

06 July 2006

dreaming dentist

Do I really wanna be a dentist..? .

To tell u the truth,up until now, im still not sure. Many things in my life, came to me unplanned, and I just face it head on. And the way I see it, this is the fate or path that God has lead me into, so I accept it gratefully and chant in my head “
this is what God wants for me, ill do my best..”

Not tht i hate dentistry, it is undoubtedly, very, very interesting. And I really enjoy treating patients, explaining to them, to the extent I draw on papers, to make them understand what’s going on in their cavitated teeth which causing them pain. I like making restorations on their teeth, esp front teeth, meticulously trying to patch the teeth back to its morphological form. I like the satisfaction, making their teeth look beautiful again, so they can flash their pretty pearls without shame. I like looking at their expression when I hand the face mirror for them to look at their new restored teeth, and they would nod happily "..ok..ok..” , forgetting their grumble and tiredness having to sit for long hours on the dental chair. I like all that.

It just..why oh why, am I so passion-less to read dental books, if I really like it, I should have read them like im wolfing down almond chocolate. I would have jump at every chance to bury my head in books. But nu-uh...i don’t. Looking at my not-so-interested expression in the mirror..cant help but wonder..do I really like dentistry..? ( naz, please stop questioning everything ..)

If im not a dentist one day..,..hmmm…

- I want to be a homemaker, a housewife in another word. Look after my family, without the worry of getting on-calls, or having the daily routine of getting caught in traffic jam, or dealing with silly 'birokrasi' at workplace. Dress pretty and greet my hubby at the door everyday, be a doting wife and mother. Ohh..plus I don’t have to worry about my children well-being, as ill be the one taking full responsibility of their upbringing. Be there all the time, won't miss a single thing. That’ll be like a life in heaven..=].

- or..ill be a kindergarten teacher. My own kindergarten. The one I paint, I decorate, I plan the schedule and syllabus, my kindergarten. What would be the name..hmm..? Now that’s the hard part…eheheh. But frankly, the dream is alwys in me, it just if I can kick my dreaming being and put myself into a ‘get into action’ mode, maybe the dream wont only be a dream one day. What would be the name again ehh..? hmm..

- Or ill be a writer. Though seems quite unlikely now, but I might, who knows. Face the computer 24/7, knocking on the keyboard till my hands sore and my head hurts. And once in while, when I experience ‘writer’s block’, ill go and spend some times somewhere to seek ideas and solace..( aren’t that what writers do.?.ehehe ).Me. A writer. Hmm..

- or a businesswoman. Haa..this is sthg I never think of. Hehe..no, I don’t have any business skills or experience, except helping my roommate to sell kerepek during my 3rd year. Thinking it back, i really enjoyed the whole process of getting the kerepek out in the morning, and taking it back in the evening, and counting the money at night. And almost every time too, I would have this confused look on my face as I stare at the calculator, trying to figure out some ‘complicated’ maths problem. “ kalau bnyk ni dijual, bnyk ni baki..ermm,berapa sepatutnya ni..?”. Ok2, not a business acumen, I know, but it’s a wonderful experience. And good money-making as well. Allright, just imagine ok, if I were to open a business, what type of business would it be..? Hmm..i think I want to sell paintings, artworks, …heheh..( might as well open a museum =/ ). Or flowers, ..being surrounded by flowers all my life, I'd like that =]. And let’s name my shop ‘Culture by Naz’..? ( =p, not so original ehh.. *wink* )

- or ..ill make chocolate! Yess.. ill be a chocolate maker..( suddenly imagining myself like Julliete Binoche acting along side Johnny Depp in ‘chocolat’..eheheh ). But,..naz , don’t u feel like u are betraying what u study, which in case u forget..dentistry ? Dental and chocolate sure don’t rhyme well. Nevermind, ill make sugar-free chocolate, though then it wont be as tasty and yummy like the Cadbury chocolate. Make chocolate ehh..,..knowing myself, ill rot my teeth in no time!

Enuff of day-dreaming naz.. back to reality life and reality spells ‘dentistry’. Heheheh..but suddenly had this picture in my head, my own chocolate empire.., i sure wont have problem to find where my future kids fav hiding place, right under the bundles of chocolate..all messy-looking with chocolate smears on their face..! Or...me, standing proudly in my own art gallery, with a thoughtful expression on my face, staring intently at the paintings..pretending to examine the blend of colours and looking knowledgeble about art. Or..me, in front of my flower shop..every morning greeted with the heavenly scent of flowers..and i would be called ' the flower lady' ..and i would always have this happy smile plastered on my face,and also must be very vibrant looking too..( why..of course, surrounded by beautiful flowers, who wouldnt ..)..and i dont have to face the same trouble everytime i need to find a gift to friend's birthdays or wedding..ill just give them my own creative bouquet of flowers!..Or..

Err...Naz, wake up... it's time to step back into reality..

04 July 2006

dont be a player ! = [

i just can't understand it..

" perempuan yg mudah perasan, atau lelaki yg main-mainkan perasaan..?"

okay, naz ..no generalisation please. Equally, both gender stand a fair chance of falling into someone easily, or jatuh 'perasan', whatever term to call it. Depends on how 'strong' we are in handling ourself. Though..yeah..being a woman, it's not that hard to 'melt' our rock-hard heart. Provided the right arrow is used. And maybe, shot by the right knight too..eheh.

Well, that's not point im getting to here. Have a tendency to stray away when i write..ehhe..

The same goes about being a 'playboy/girl'. I used to think that only guys are the one who enjoy playing and toying with a woman's heart. Naah..not anymore. Dunno what happened to woman's once very valued loyalty to their man. Some women are just as bad as some guys, .." player..player ". OR is it their fickleness, unable to set mind on one person, inability to make a decision..?

If u cant make up ur mind, dont give hope. If u are still not sure, dont play with ppl's feelings. The cruellest thing a guy can do to a girl is to make her soar high with hopes but doesnt intend to catch her when she falls, and vice versa. I alwys said this to myself, and to friends around me.." when it's friendship, be a friend...". Dont get urself confused by the vague definition between 'friend' and 'more thn friend', esp when they're ur good friends. There should be no problem if both parties know exactly where they stand. Set the record straight, have some boundaries..dont get urself entangled with love confusion or 'love triangle-rectangular' mess..it makes the process of getting to know each other less..fun, i think...

And one thing im very curious about, what do they feel, when they look in the eyes of one person, yet at the same time planning to say the same sentence to their tomorrow's date..? How can they feel happy lavishing their love ( or is it really love, God knows..) and romantic affection to so many ppl..? Dont they feel guilty..? Or is it im the one who's so serious about this matter,..when for some ppl.." it's all for the fun, when we still can choose ..". Ohh..really, so that's how some ppl see it ehh..

I dunno, different ppl, different way of thinking i guess. It just..call me 'kolot', ''old lady' or conservative or whatever..but i believe there should be a line between that two. When it's 'just friends', treat it like just friends. When u are still uncertain about what ur heart wants..dont go around flirting, make friends and be friends with many ppl, and get to know them on a friendship basis. Until finally u found someone who u think is 'the one', then u concentrate on him/her. Save the 'flirting moment' only for that person..dunno-lah., because i think some things, some words, ..should only be reserved for tht special someone.

Haihh..i think ive talked about this before, hmm..am i boring u ppl..? It's just..there's this thing on my mind, and i cant help but to think about it. To guys..dont make a woman 'perasan' if all u want is friendship. But maybe too, he doesnt realise that he's sending false signals, hmm...And to us woman, try not to entertain our feelings too much smtmes,..sure, plan ahead, but avoid dreaming too high, unless things are already pretty much clearer...okeh..?

Why am i talking about this, suddenly turning into a relationship expert once again?...Because of a friend, wonder how she's doing right now..? I really want to blame the guy, but i couldnt. Is it my girl friend who's been 'perasan' with his normal friendship gesture, or it's the guy who was the 'player' all along..? I stared at his back as he walk next to his another girlfriend ( i think !), which he declared as the 'serious' one..and wonder to myself.." are all guys like him..?". Thinking about my friend's excitement telling me about him, i really feel like i want to punch his face. A real hard punch.