06 July 2006

dreaming dentist

Do I really wanna be a dentist..? .

To tell u the truth,up until now, im still not sure. Many things in my life, came to me unplanned, and I just face it head on. And the way I see it, this is the fate or path that God has lead me into, so I accept it gratefully and chant in my head “
this is what God wants for me, ill do my best..”

Not tht i hate dentistry, it is undoubtedly, very, very interesting. And I really enjoy treating patients, explaining to them, to the extent I draw on papers, to make them understand what’s going on in their cavitated teeth which causing them pain. I like making restorations on their teeth, esp front teeth, meticulously trying to patch the teeth back to its morphological form. I like the satisfaction, making their teeth look beautiful again, so they can flash their pretty pearls without shame. I like looking at their expression when I hand the face mirror for them to look at their new restored teeth, and they would nod happily "..ok..ok..” , forgetting their grumble and tiredness having to sit for long hours on the dental chair. I like all that.

It just..why oh why, am I so passion-less to read dental books, if I really like it, I should have read them like im wolfing down almond chocolate. I would have jump at every chance to bury my head in books. But nu-uh...i don’t. Looking at my not-so-interested expression in the mirror..cant help but wonder..do I really like dentistry..? ( naz, please stop questioning everything ..)

If im not a dentist one day..,..hmmm…

- I want to be a homemaker, a housewife in another word. Look after my family, without the worry of getting on-calls, or having the daily routine of getting caught in traffic jam, or dealing with silly 'birokrasi' at workplace. Dress pretty and greet my hubby at the door everyday, be a doting wife and mother. Ohh..plus I don’t have to worry about my children well-being, as ill be the one taking full responsibility of their upbringing. Be there all the time, won't miss a single thing. That’ll be like a life in heaven..=].

- or..ill be a kindergarten teacher. My own kindergarten. The one I paint, I decorate, I plan the schedule and syllabus, my kindergarten. What would be the name..hmm..? Now that’s the hard part…eheheh. But frankly, the dream is alwys in me, it just if I can kick my dreaming being and put myself into a ‘get into action’ mode, maybe the dream wont only be a dream one day. What would be the name again ehh..? hmm..

- Or ill be a writer. Though seems quite unlikely now, but I might, who knows. Face the computer 24/7, knocking on the keyboard till my hands sore and my head hurts. And once in while, when I experience ‘writer’s block’, ill go and spend some times somewhere to seek ideas and solace..( aren’t that what writers do.?.ehehe ).Me. A writer. Hmm..

- or a businesswoman. Haa..this is sthg I never think of. Hehe..no, I don’t have any business skills or experience, except helping my roommate to sell kerepek during my 3rd year. Thinking it back, i really enjoyed the whole process of getting the kerepek out in the morning, and taking it back in the evening, and counting the money at night. And almost every time too, I would have this confused look on my face as I stare at the calculator, trying to figure out some ‘complicated’ maths problem. “ kalau bnyk ni dijual, bnyk ni baki..ermm,berapa sepatutnya ni..?”. Ok2, not a business acumen, I know, but it’s a wonderful experience. And good money-making as well. Allright, just imagine ok, if I were to open a business, what type of business would it be..? Hmm..i think I want to sell paintings, artworks, …heheh..( might as well open a museum =/ ). Or flowers, ..being surrounded by flowers all my life, I'd like that =]. And let’s name my shop ‘Culture by Naz’..? ( =p, not so original ehh.. *wink* )

- or ..ill make chocolate! Yess.. ill be a chocolate maker..( suddenly imagining myself like Julliete Binoche acting along side Johnny Depp in ‘chocolat’..eheheh ). But,..naz , don’t u feel like u are betraying what u study, which in case u forget..dentistry ? Dental and chocolate sure don’t rhyme well. Nevermind, ill make sugar-free chocolate, though then it wont be as tasty and yummy like the Cadbury chocolate. Make chocolate ehh..,..knowing myself, ill rot my teeth in no time!

Enuff of day-dreaming naz.. back to reality life and reality spells ‘dentistry’. Heheheh..but suddenly had this picture in my head, my own chocolate empire.., i sure wont have problem to find where my future kids fav hiding place, right under the bundles of chocolate..all messy-looking with chocolate smears on their face..! Or...me, standing proudly in my own art gallery, with a thoughtful expression on my face, staring intently at the paintings..pretending to examine the blend of colours and looking knowledgeble about art. Or..me, in front of my flower shop..every morning greeted with the heavenly scent of flowers..and i would be called ' the flower lady' ..and i would always have this happy smile plastered on my face,and also must be very vibrant looking too..( why..of course, surrounded by beautiful flowers, who wouldnt ..)..and i dont have to face the same trouble everytime i need to find a gift to friend's birthdays or wedding..ill just give them my own creative bouquet of flowers!..Or..

Err...Naz, wake up... it's time to step back into reality..

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