Coincidently, as I was drafting this entry in my blog, it happened to be this morning’s topic in Hot.fm radio station, conducted by the ever-cheerful Fara Fauzana and Faisal Ismail. As I was getting ready to class, I listened interestedly to the callers comments. Hmm..looks like it’s the ‘in’ and the trend nowadays ehh.. “ young woman falling for older man ”.
And I thought the ‘Datuk K and Siti’ issue is only gossiped among friends as we gathered together, funny that our Prof brought up this topic in MOS class, asking each students to give opinions about it. Heh.., I think I know why, because he is like a ‘father’ to us, and probably a father to some lucky girl out there, who was trying to tell us something in an indirect way about this issue. Lebih kurg mcm cara ayah aku bila nak menyatakan rs tak sukanya terhadap sesuatu. Dia akan cerita psl perkara2 yg lain, tapi dlm bercerita tuh, perlahan2 dia menjurus ke maksud sebenar. Kdg2, ayah tak perlu nak hurai pjg..aku dh dapat tangkap maksud berselirat sebalik kata2 dia. Ayah2..takde lain..cukup risau hal anak2, sampai dh besar panjang pun masih dlm kerisauannya jugak…ehhe.
But what my prof said the other day is right. Bila jarak usia terlalu sgt, akan ada kemungkinan wujud masalah dalam komunikasi. Pemikiran org berusia 50-an pastinya tak sama dgn org yang dua kali ganda muda drnya. Kehendak, keinginan, kemampuan dan kudrat jugak dh jauh beza. Bukan tak boleh atau tak elok, mungkin juga takkan wujud jurang komunikasi ni, but the chances are, hmm..there will be. Kerana dua generasi yg berlainan. Tapi…yelah..bila dh ambil keputusan utk itu, apa2 jugak yg dtg, harus diterima dan dihadapi sebaik mungkin..masa inilah kekuatan cinta jd ukuran.
Kalau aku-lah …“ini aku katakan ‘kalau’ ”..(sapa boleh teka dialog filem apa ..ehehe), I don’t think I would go for this kind of risk. Apart from my father would never approve of it, the image of a marriage in my mind does not comply with this idea of ‘marrying-someone-twice-my–age’. Hmm..but again, ‘lain orang, lain lah..’, apa yg aku rasa dan fikir tak sama dgn apa yg Siti, Norjuma atau org2 lain yg melaluinya rasa. Bukankah kebahagiaan, kecantikan, dan segala macam bentuk perasaan itu subjektif, terpulang kpd org yg melalui dan menilainya. Mungkin, we should also listen to their part of story..then perhaps, we could understand why they choose the person, beating the odds and putting a deaf ear to disapproval voices around them.
What is it that older man possess that can melt a young woman’s heart..? That must be one of the thing twirling in our mind as we talk about this. My prof said, and I agree very much to this..is confidence. Yeap, confidence in a man is one of the thing woman found sexy and attractive. A man’s confidence yields his male-ness, indirectly shows his inner strength and his ability to protect and provide security, one of the thing women crave for in a relationship with a guy. But..as I think about it, why older man appeared more confident and full of composure is because he has already passed the years where he was the young, inconfident man trying to make a decent living and who’s still very unsure about many things in life, the state where Im in right now. (..eheh, that proves Im still young =p ). But it makes sense-kan..we can’t compare a 25 yrs old to a 45 yrs old man in their confidence level, or state of stability, or their incomes or savings. It’s like trying to compare a cute duckling attempting his first swim to a swan padding away proudly in the pond.
I can go talking about this endlessly, but I have to restrain myself from getting carried away and pretend to forget about this big exam coming in a month time. But again..back to the topic above, let them choose the life they want, without the pressure from the crowd, offering opinions on how they should live their life. Im referring to the media ppl, who was like following their movements every seconds and manipulating their statements for the sake of selling their paper. That’s the price to pay when u are Siti Nurhaliza ehh..but, give her some space to breathe. She also wants to enjoy being in love after all the years of hard work.
Older guy may seem more matured in conversations and their demeanour. Older man may look more convincing to a woman because they are more stable in terms of their living and finances. Apart from looking knowledgeable about life due to them having more experiences, recalling one of my friends opinion about this, older men are more patient ( 'penyabar' ) in dealing with unpredictable temperament of a young woman. Dunno-lah…as for me,.. i see marriage as a journey of experimenting and experiencing life together with my spouse, make mistakes and learn from it, be in love and enjoy the years to come, basically.. grow old together. Apa2 pun, no matter what kind of life u choose, choose wisely as we have to take the responsibility of the choices we make.
Hmm..maybe love is BLIND after all…