23 May 2006

parenting skill

I witnessed an interesting scene the other day, and I think it’s important to share it in here with all of you. For future reference.

I was choosing between Guava juice or Blackcurrant juice in UDaOCean supermarket, taking my time as I scrutinized the nutrition facts, which is more delicious, which is more nutritious ( ..tak delah jauh beza pun, both contains VitC ..! ). And like alwys, I end up not buying any, so much for my healthy eating resolution!...

Then came a family of four, parents and their two kids, a daughter around 6-7 years old and her younger brother who was slumped in the trolley ( btw..i wonder how does it feels to be sitting in the supermarket trolley, among the vegetables, eggs and chicken.. ) Suddenly I heard the daughter kind of ‘merengek’ to her mother, wanting to buy one of the mouthwatering juices. And her mother’s respond stopped me mid-breath, stunned as I don’t believe ill be hearing words like that coming from a mother’s mouth.

duduk diam2lah..sepak karang!! ”

From the corner of my eyes, I tried to look at this mother-daughter pair. Ringan mulut nak menyebut “ hai cik kak, kalau mcm tu cara bercakap dgn anak, jgn pulak marah esok kalau anak akak bercakap dgn akak mcm tu”. Tapi tak cakaplah, karang tak pasal2 aku pulak yg kena ‘penyepak’ dia.

But seriously, is that how a mother speaks to her children..? Im sorry if I sound too aghast, but I never hear words like that, or anything near that, coming from my mother’s mouth. Aren’t mothers supposed to colour their children with positive and good things..only the beautiful rainbow colours. I can’t imagine, if this child growing up hearing all sorts of ‘ kata2 kasar’, what kind of person she would grow up to be ? I can’t remember what I was thinking at that moment, more like a mixture of feelings. I pity the child, disbelief with the 'cik kak', and grateful for having 'mama’ as my mother.

Why can't she answered it nicely..? If she couldn't buy the juice, explain to the daughter properly, without having to raise her voice or use harsh words. That innocent girl is only a child. Dont blame the kids becoming more and more ill-mannered, if that is how they are treated and the kind of example they learn from their parents. Recalling a Malay adage.." seperti ketam mengajar anaknya berjalan lurus". Susahlah nak train anak jalan lurus, kalau maknya jalan mengiring..

So..everyone, parents or parents to be, all future fathers and mothers..please, dont talk to our children with that kind of words. Bear in mind, that their first experience about life, about this world..are gained from their parents. What they witness during their childhood, the life and surrounding they grow up in.., will directly or indirectly mould and create the kind of adult they’ll grow up to be. The first six years are crucial…the period where children’s learning at its peak, like sponge soaking water. Teach them well, guide them and let them learn only the goodness of this world.

Yeah2..i know, Im not yet a mother myself ( insyaAllah, one day..=] ), dont really know, and never experience the troubles and hardship a mother has to face, but that is not a reason or excuse to treat the kids badly. Try putting ourselves in the kid’s shoes..try to recall those unpleasant memories ( if there’s any..) when we were the kid, being treated badly by parents or carers. Dont keep ‘forwarding’ bad things. Put a stop. Make a difference. Sure we can.

Haih..ni yg buat lagi membara2 nak buka tadika nih..,=[

1 comment:

Adi Ramli said...

What goes around, comes around..
-Infernal Affairs-

Setiap apa yg ibubapa lakukan, akan mencorakkan anak. Akan menjadi contoh dan ikutan anak. Ada satu kenyataan, tapi tak tahulah betul atau tidak. Dengar dari borak2 dengan orang2 berumur.

Apa yg dikatakannya ialah mengenai kepentingan usia remaja kerana pada ketika itulah anak itu paling genting (pembentukan dan pembinaan personaliti). Maka itulah saat paling penting yang diperlukan oleh seorang anak utk "jadi seperti siapa?". Kawan? Cikgu? Warden? Ibubapa?

Maka berkatalah orang berumur tu:
"Di saat anak itu SANGAT MEMERLUKAN ibu bapa, ibu bapa hantar pula mereka ke sekolah asrama.. Maka jangan terkejut kalau di saat ibu bapa SANGAT MEMERLUKAN anak mereka, ibu bapa itu pula yang dihantar ke rumah orang2 tua.."

Entah betul, entah tidak.. Tetapi cukup menarik untuk difikirkan..

Sekadar pandangan..