24 January 2005


just out from clinic..so tired, and hungry..but, my feet brought me here, instead of walking directly to surau to lie down while waiting for zohor..

i called 2 patients this morning, hoping that i could impress myself by treating two pts instead of one. Oklah..justme, u tried ur best, and i know i can do better next time. Still hesitating to start treating endo cases ( ermm.. endo cases means root canal treatment..). The first step is the hardest. Scared of sthg that's so unfamiliar to us. Like the first few steps from a toddler, keep falling down..cried out loud, but try standing again, again..and alas, succeeded. Have to learn more from the the world around me..instead of being scared and afraid, wasting my time seeking safety and security in every aspect of life.

i want to write more, wish to spend the whole day writing..but there's tons of other things to do. My left thumb still throbbed slightly, and i had to bandaged it while treating patient , to avoid cross infection. Got it cut as i was slicing down watermelon last weekend. As i examined my hands, left and right knocking on this keyboard, couldnt help but notices the difference between both hands. My right hand is bigger than my left..( okay, before anyone's wild imaginations start to picture anything monstrous, it's actually not that bad..), but noticeable, especially to a person who really observes and look at it meticulously. i remembered tracing both of my hands on papers ..( alah..masa kecik2 dulu, depangkan tgn atas kertas dan lalukan dgn pensel..), just to make sure my eyes were not tricking me. And yup, black and white confirmed.

talking about my hands, there were times when i envied my sister's long, delicate fingers, moving gently as she talks and runs it thru her hair. Secretly, i wished to have the same 'dancer's hand' like hers, so womanly and eye captivating. HEheh, but now im matured enough to learn and accept ppl's differences, realised that all Allah's creations are beautiful and unique, and has to serve important purposes in this world. With this hand of mine, im able to pass through my schooling yrs , with it too, i eat and write, enable me to do stuffs etc. And most importantly, with this big hand of mine, im a normal and complete human being, i have two hands, two feet,..two eyes, all paired up..alhamdulillah. HEheh...recalling my silblings stupid joke when we were a kid.." ..haa..nak cari cincin kawen susah ni, karang masukkan cincin takleh keluar plak.." Cehhh..=]

klah..gtg, bye..

" i complained that i have no shoes, until i met a man with no feet.."

No comments: