There were times when i wish i dont ponder or think too much about things going on in this world, it'll sure make my life easier. And sometimes, i hope that im not 'romantic', meanings that i care less about feelings, and dont keep questioning my heart.
What is the reason, to be with someone, to fall in love..?
One of my friends said, she accepted the guy ( her boyfriend ) into her life, because she wanted a boyfriend. Eventhough she liked someone else, ..but , how longer should she wait..? And what if she turned down the guy now, and end up alone later..? Tactfully I asked “.. but, do u like him..?”. Shrugging her shoulder, she answered "...alah..org perempuan ni mudah je nak cair…lambat laun kita akan suka dia jugak.” Hmm…I see..some generalization..
Another friend responded quite the same way, saying she couldn’t bear the thought of not having a boyfriend, when mostly everybody her age is seeing someone. She couldn’t stand her mother’s expectation, continuously questioning her about it. And most of all, she’s scared that she might not found any other man in the future, so...she might just as well stay with her current boyfriend, no matter what she feels inside. Well..wish u all the best,..
Some others said yes to a guy out of pity. Some of the relationships lasts and succeeded, while some other failed halfway. It’s hard, they said, because the feelings not there, and they felt guilty because they just drift through it half-heartedly. Looking at them, I have to say I respect them,..at least they’re being honest, while some ppl choose to play with ppl’s heart for the sake of being in a relationship.
One friend gave quite an interesting answer. “.. Because he could provide me the stable future I wanted, I don’t want to be the breadwinner of the family..and i dont want to 'feed' my husband.. ” Now, that’s an honest, straight from the heart answer. Eventhough she said it jokingly, she got a point there. Well..not to say that women are materialistic, but looking at statistics, it usually cause quite some problem later in marriage life when there’s too huge gap of difference in financial aspects, between husband and wife, esp when it involves male ego, and worsen by snotty remarks from 'busybody' ppl around. But saying that..it all depends "...lain org, lainlah kan.” Success or failure in a marriage, it's entirely up to u to decide and work it out.
Different ppl have different reasons. Im not here to criticize or judge anyone, how u live in this world, it's u who make the choices. And I believe every decision made is a result of serious considering and thinking. The important thing is u are happy and able to make the other person happy, willing to be responsible for ur decision, ready to share the ups and downs..be there for one another, and bring the best out of each other. Aren’t that what being in a relationship is all about..
Some talks from a plain girl who never really be in one. But that’s how I see it. It’s not about being lovey-dovey 24/7, but the reality within it, is fake and full of hypocracy. Relationship between a man and woman should not be based because ‘u want pakwe/makwe - jd terima sjlah sapa2 pun’. It’s not about finding someone who's able to build u big mansion, which would be totally meaningless if the heart is filled with emptiness. But deciding to be with someone, maybe is simply because u like being with that person. Comfortable being urself, at ease day and night. From ordinary friendship, it blossomed to something more than that, without u realizing it. U are finally 'at home', safe and protected emotionally, and the other person did nothing other than sit next to u. U feel connected, able to open up and talk about anything,everything effortlessly. At that moment, u knew, that this person is no longer the same person u met years or months before. His or her position in your heart has shifted. Higher. Or should I say ..deeper.
And..perhaps..by that time, ur eyes stop wandering around. Ur mind stop wondering and searching, and u realised that this is the person u wish to see everyday ur whole life. The person whom u want to grow old with, build family and stay together...insyaAllah..and u know that other than this person..there's no one else. Fullstop.
See..told ya it’s hard when u think too much…