16 April 2006

blame no one

One thing about human being, our innate tendency to blame others when things go wrong. We blame our teammates if our project failed. We blame the alarmclock if we woke up late. We accuse the innocent stool if we accidentally skipped onto it and fell. We are never wrong, it’s always them. It might not be the case to everyone or at all time ..but..smtmes, not without us realizing or wanting to do it, our spontaneous reaction when plan turn disaster is to find something or someone other than ourselves to put the blame on. Before we get to our senses, that is. Maybe it’s our escapism from accepting failure or it happens out of insensible and irrational thinking as we are feeling doomed about the matter. It’s normal…

But it’s not normal to keep on blaming others or the table-leg which we alwys ‘tersepak’ everytime we passed that area. It’s not normal to feel that we are always the one who is ‘right’ and never do mistakes. And it’s absolutely not right to blame other ppl when it is really ur fault. Yeah..u can give all kind of excuses, trying to turn ‘black’ to ‘white’ all ur might ..but deep down, we know that..“ It is our fault..”. Nothing we can do other then to admit the mistake, apologise, learn from it and move one. That’s all. It’s not that hard, isn’t it..?

The same goes to ppl who would ‘maki-hamun’ the police traffic for giving speeding ticket. Why speed when u know u should not? Why blame the police traffic for handing u speeding ticket? They’re just doing their work. A similar scenario is when a prefect catch u for skipping class while u hide in the toilet, smoking. Skip class is one thing, SMOKING is another. Is it the prefect’s fault, it’s his responsibility and u know tht u should not skip school, more else smoking. Another quite different example but it relates to the same issue, is when a girl u like turn u down politely when u ask her to be ur special girlfriend, saying tht she likes it better if the both of u are only friends. Suddenly u feel like u are the victim, and go blaming the girl for turning u down when all she did was being honest with her feelings. Or is it part and parcel of being human..to blame others?

Accept that when it’s your fault, it’s your fault. Accept that smtmes life is not alwys on your side, not everything u want u’ll get. Accept that humans are not perfect, we are not perfect, ppl next to us are not perfect. ACCEPT. By accepting that that’s how life is, it will make u feel more ‘redha’ and create ‘rasa-diri-hamba’, knowing that we have no power to alwys be right, or to demand that all the things we want we should get. And it’s not a 'cowardice act' to lower our head a little, admitting our mistakes. It’s not a sign of weakness to apologise when u know u have wronged someone. No matter if u were the boss, the parents, the husband, the leader….when we know we did wrong, with humbleness seek forgiveness. Because frankly..being able to mouth the word ‘I apologise’ will make other ppl respect u more, esp if u are on top as the leader and saying this two words to your followers. It’s a remarkable thing to do..because it’s not easy. I know it’s not easy, esp when u are a man with ego and all..But, trust me, it’s worth it. Only a courageous man will dare enough to swallow his pride, admit his fault and apologise.

And besides, by going around blaming other ppl when things turn awry, esp when u know that it’s not going to solve anything, what good will it do. Learn from it. Find a way to fix it. Take responsibility if it’s ur fault. Stop yapping away blaming others…it really doesn’t make u look good.

Why am I suddenly all ‘heated-up’ like this.. ? Many reasons..not going to enlist them in here,..just letting out things on my mind. When lecturers take action to students who do not finish their work or requirements at the end of their final year, when they know that they should…is it the lecturer’s fault for giving the students detention? They are just doing their work. Is it wrong for them to hold these few unlucky students and give extra tests and work to really ensure that these students are capable and competent before going out serving public..? No, it’s not wrong, and they have every reason to do that. And should u, as a person who’s been taught and guided by these lecturers, from knowing nothing to knowing something, feel victimized and blame the lecturers for ‘punishing’ u..? No, u should not. We should not.

When it’s your fault, admit.

I admit my mistakes, and willing to face the consequences.



(..but still, it's really hard not to blame the 'not-so-bijak' cassete player for ruining my fav KEnny G tape (..it belongs to kakak actually..=/), esp at times when i need it the most..isk...)

1 comment:

Adi Ramli said...

Topik ni mengingatkan aku pada satu perkara yang dah lama aku lupa.. Tq kerana bukak topik nih sbb kalau tak, memang berkubur la benda ni dlm memori.. Selalu kita dengar, sejak kecik:

Bangau oh bangau,
kenapa engkau kurus?

Mcm mana aku tak kurus,
ikan tamau timbul..

Ikan oh ikan,
kenapa tamau timbul?

Mcm mana aku tak timbul,
rumput panjang sangat..

(and the song goes on and on until the end..)

Maka, kesimpulannya?

Stop "bangau-ing"..
Throw away that "bangau" jauh2 from us..

Together we try not to be that "bangau" anymore..

:)