09 April 2006

if only..

If only I could start back from the very first day I stepped my feet into campus life, I wouldn’t let it be the way it was for the past 5 yrs im here. I would study hard, real hard… and score excellent results in exams, and make myself proud being me. Not to impress anyone, just for my own personal satisfaction, apart from making my parents very happy having a daughter who scored with flying colours in every exams. Not that I cant do it, provided I work hard and be disciplined, I know myself..that I can achieve it.

It just that..it’s too late to ponder about this now. Thinking about this in my few last weeks as a student here, sure won't make me feel any better, knowing that I haven’t really utilised my full potential and ability during my uni years. When u have the ability, but u don’t use it…it sure doesn’t give a good feeling inside. It makes u feel like u’ve wasted the chances and opportunity that Allah has given u. And..in the Days of Judgement, when everything will be opened and witnessed before our eyes, the things ive done, the time ive wasted…what would be the most appropriate answer should I offer my Creator..? That I was simply being lazy in dunia..?

There’s nothing much I can do, other than reminding myself to remember this moment forever, as a lesson for the years to come. To be more focused and hardworking. Yeah…insyaAllah, if I managed to further my study one day,.i would repent by studying double hard, as a way to pay back for the lost times during my undergraduate years. Till that time comes,..insyaAllah. Maybe then I would feel more relieved, knowing that i had done my part in dunia well, using the gift bestowed upon me by Allah and chances handed to me full-heartedly…and not wasting it like before. InsyaAllah…..

For now, naz..concentrate on using the time left. Found this saying somewhere, that the last 5 mins in a football match could make a big difference…ehhe. So…study!


even when u are left in solitude,
with only the moonlight to depend on,
fly away using featherless wings,
and keep moving forward !
- 1 Litre of Tears

4 comments:

imah said...

gambate kudasai!

JeeHoney said...

Hi Naz! Dah lama duk baca karya2 Naz dlm blog ni..byk yg menarik dan bermanfaat.Congrats my dear! Erm..Jee pun pernah rasa macamtu jg bila dah hbs study.Tapi apa blh buat..semuanya dah berlalu.Apapun,utk hari mendatang,mg kita terus b'usaha memperbaiki diri & jadi yg lebih baik. ..AMIN.

Adi Ramli said...

Don't look at what you have lost.. It will only give negative feelings to you..

Instead, look at what you have gained.. It will be your positive feelings - a stimulant to proceed and go to the next level..

It is the past that made you who you are now. And it is "what you have gained" that shaped the one you are right now..

"Orang-orang yang paling berbahagia tidak selalu memiliki hal-hal terbaik, mereka hanya berusaha menjadikan yang terbaik dari setiap hal yang hadir dalam hidupnya."

Disimpulkan semua sekali tu dalam satu perkataan: QANA'AH

:)

faruq said...

berusaha, berjaya woh ! =3

no worries, no worries. insya'Allah everything gonna turn out just as you would like it to be. :)