14 February 2005

hand me the tissue, please..

when laziness is overwhelming, and it's only a month away from ur biggest exams..!Come on, justme...must it always be at the last crucial minutes..?!

Talking about uncontrolled or involuntary actions from ur body or mind..( it is uncontrolled, i wanted to flip thru books, but instead , i reached the remote control..=/).Today, another bizzare incident that has sthg to do with tears. I dunno what's wrong with my lacrimal gland , smtmes it tends to be over-activated for no important or spesific reasons. It just welled up,..and rolled down my cheeks. Today, i found myself wiping away tears as i read the news about four siblings who died instantly in a car crash somewhere in Gerik ( may their souls rest in peace, Al -Fatihah ).Guess i was just again, putting myself in the victim's shoes, as i can feel the sorrow, and understand the trauma and lost faced by the father and mother. Things like this happenned all the time to me, suddenly in tears when reading or watching devastating news, esp lost family members.But peculiarly today, i became overly sensitive while watching a re-run of American IDol ,where one of its contestants, Jasmine Trias was asked to leave. Weird, weird..perhaps i too, can feel the pain, being asked to leave after all the hard works and hopes..and also being so near to the finale, so near of reaching ur dreams. Justme..get a grip!

I was not like this when i was a kid. I was not this 'cengeng'. I used to be the tough one,compared to my elder sister, and i was pretty proud of it. I was confused when she cried at our kindergarten days. I was dubious when she again, cried when our van driver got lost one day while driving us home and i end up comforting my big sister. Where did the tough girl gone? Today, my tears are very cheap. Dunno what happenned to them, easily stimulated over small stuffs. Like other ppl's happiness or lost, death of siblings or parents. That's my weakest point. Smtmes, i had to hold myself from breaking into tears while listening to my parents words, their stories..i was just touched, in a way i cant explain.Funny huh..?And oh yeah.. i too, sobbed while watching King Munfasa died when protecting his son ( or should i say cub..?) in Lion King.Gladly enough, i never shed a tear watching movies where the lovers die or separated etc..it just doesn't trigger anything in me.Yet.

But whatever it is, im grateful, at least i have tears!..Hahah...No-lah, im grateful with the fact that im granted with emotions,and that makes me human. Looking at the world around me,emphatising their sadness and sharing their laughter,and simply understanding the reason behind it all..


tm nut said...

lost my only grandma left (lived just next to my home in Kjg). Pergi menghadap Yang Haq on the last morning of 1425H. Moga sudi sedekahkan Al-Fatihah.

justme said...

semoga ditempatkan bersama golongan diredhai-Nya..drpdNYA kita dtg, dan kepadaNYa kita kembali.