24 February 2005

leaving scar forever..so that ill remember!!!!

I just couldn’t get it out from my head.

“..awak ni nampak pandai, tapi bila menjawab soalan, terus jadi tak pandai..” – prof g


Betullah kata org, words are the sharpest weapon, the effect of it lasts longer, and deeper..ouchh!

Im in my room, since there’s no internet connection available, I did like what I usually do, type it in here, and later paste it in my blog. I just need to write it out, to keep me sane.

Kelas MOS ( minor oral surgery ) is one of my favourite class, interesting it is, undoubtedly. TAdi kelas MOS lah, that resulted with me, thinking about the words spoken to me directly in front of my face. What’s wrong with me? Why cant I get the answer out smoothly from my mouth..? Why I always end up making a fool out of myself, blurting out answers like a stupid 3 yrs old instead of 23?!..Am I really like that, ‘nampak aje pandai, tapi bila menjawab..?”..Arrghhh! I don’t want to be like Bridget Jones!!!!

And to make me feel worse, is that ..i know the answers!! What’s limiting me from voicing it out was my inconfidence, scared and afraid that it might be a wrong answer.. I’d rather smile sheepishly, and pretended to think hard, while he looked long at me, waiting. And when he gave up waiting , he answered it himself, and the answer was just like what I thought it would be, in my head, but not saying it out. Nazzz. …must I always be like this ?

Okay ..correction…. Im not like this at all time, but ..when this kind of situation occurred to me, I just get so frustrated about myself ..

And this prof..the way he looked at me, challenging me with his eyes, looked at me straight in the face.. as if waiting for me to impress him, with intellectually, brilliant answers. And what did I do?! Impress him I did, with my foolish answers!

“ cara kita menjawab, biar sampai orang yang menyoal rasa gerun ..u don’t have to know lots of things, but it’s the way you answer..project how good u are ..”

“ when describing pictures..be descriptive. Look at it generally, and then to the specific parts, and then only to the more specific ..”

Come on, naz..u are not stupid, bear that in mind. U know the answers, it just that u have to be more confident. I have to study harder, be more serious and focused, and disciplined…if I want to be good, damn good. It’s not because I want to impress my profs, or friends..it’s because I know im good, and I can be better. Where’s the tough-rock-hard girl in you back in school.. remember what kakak said..” we are not the mediocre, we are among the best!!..” (..she’s a real motivator..the next Anthony Robbins plus Robert Kiyosaki she is!)

I was born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?

No comments: