14 June 2006

fight the feeling !

When I was in school, one of my friends taught me a trick, which i never apply or try in my life so far. A trick on how to ‘neutralise our immense feelings’ to someone or sthg ( usually to a person ). Whatever strong feeling, be it hate, like, revenge, obsession, etc. Whatever that is overwhelming in us, which becoming more ‘dangerous’ or bothersome. Meanings..it gets too intense that makes u go slightly ‘crazy’.( ermm.that’s way too exaggerated..). Example, u are obsessed with someone, or sthg like tht. And it bothers u. Tremendously.

Ok, to make it short....this friend of mine, she liked a guy and always found herself thinking of that person and hoping to catch a glimpse of him everyday. To the extent that she knew at what time that guy would walk around her class so she could see him. The thing is, she didn’t like her state of being ‘addicted’ to wanting to see tht guy, and constantly thinking of him, when she was virtually invisible to him. What she did then was, she recorded her improvements in her attempts to kill the feeling, in other words, she keeps a record of how many times she thinks of him in a day. Example, on Monday 1st june, she thought of him 99 times.( whoaaa.), she jotted it down in her diary and said to herself that tomorrow she’ll think of him less. And it works. Gradually, the number of times spent floating away thinking of that guy reduced, from nearly 100 to 56, to 32 and so on. There were, of course, a few fluctuations in her records, but amazingly, with her effort ... by the end of that month, she managed to totally scrape the guy out from her mind, and the feeling was ‘neutralised’. From intense liking to …merely nonchalance. Hmm.

What I want to share here is not the story of a girl who’s obsessed with a guy. But about determination to fight our feelings. In a more common term people put it, ‘our jihad against nafsu’. We are human sent to this world with ‘akal and nafsu’. We are not angles or prophets who are ‘maksum’. We are only human beings. But..we are the best creation among all. “ Sesungguhnya Aku ( Allah ) ciptakan manusia dengan sebaik-sebaik kejadian..” As ‘khalifah’ of this world.

I don’t want to elaborate long, or else this will bore some ppl as they would see this as another ‘ceramah agama’. But yeahh..admitting our weakness, there are times when we are ‘flooded’ with emotions, which can make us float away dreamily. Smtmes too, it could create lustful thinkings in our minds without us realizing or wanting it. Fight the temptation. Beat the ‘syaitan or iblis or nafsu’ in us. We are better and stronger than them. And our 'silent battle' ..hopefully, will be regarded as one of our 'jihad' to be a better servant to Him..

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