13 March 2005

dream mother

Tiba2 aku cemburukan Sofea Jane.

Watching her enjoying doing mother works with love, fun, having all the time in the world just for her 3 kids…I couldn’t help but ask myself..will I be able to do all that one day..? Not missing a THING with my kids ..? Will I have the opportunity to really watch my children grow, from the day they were born, till the day I send them for their first day in college..? Will I be there all the time for them, watching them take their first wobbly step, be there for the ultimate moment when they first voice out the word ‘mama’ to me, be ready to catch whenever they fall, and be the one cleaning their cuts and wiping their tears, hugging them, and telling them “..shhshh, don’t cry, mama’s here”..? Will I really be the kind of mother I always envisioned myself being..?

Suddenly all this ‘mama talk’ makes my eyes misty. Great.

Okay..why im like this? Why all these sudden mother instincts came gushing to my head and heart..? No other reason than watching my new favourite programme on TV3 ‘1,2,3 Dutch Lady’, hosted by Sofea Jane. But seriously speaking, it’s a marvelous programme, simple yet up – to –date, perfect infotainment ( the current word used nowadays ) for modern mom. Bravo for whoever creating this programme, and if ever it be put in CD’c collection, ill be the first lining to purchase it. Okay..perhaps there’s more room for improvement, but so far..they are doing a great job sending good parental messages to public. Clap clap.

Anyway…before anyone started pointing finger at me, mockingly saying “ ..haa..tak sabar nak jadi mak ke..?”( come onlah..takkan ibu2 mengandung aje ada mother instinct?..), I believe every woman has it. Cuma mungkin cara ia diekspreskan, atau lambat cepat wujudnya perasaan itu shj yg membezakan. One of my friend came to me saying that she has no mother instinct, she said the sight of children just annoyed her, and what makes her more worried is the fact that her ‘pakwe’ is the kid-lover person, and has greater parental nature compared to her. I just stared at her, not knowing what to say, and finally managed to mumble sthg like “ Jgn risaulah…nanti dh kawin esok2, dh pregnant, naluri tu dtglah, semulajadi punya ..percayalah..jgn piker bukan2lah…”. Emm..perhaps not a brilliant comforting words.

Whatever it is..naluri keibuan..( I don’t think I want to talk about ‘naluri kebapaan’ yet..) is one of the most valuable gift from Allah to a woman. A feeling that makes us distinctive from man, a thing that qualify us to carry a child , and care and love them with all our heart. What makes a woman mother. Whether it is shone through our words, actions or gestures, or only perhaps sthg that we feel inside, I believe women are born with it. Trust me, because we are created to be mothers. Nurture the feeling, and it will blossom.

Emm..now, justme has diverged her topic to shtg quite futuristic, but I guess it’s a good and worth thing to talk and write about. Because who doesn’t want to be a parent? Let’s pray for each other, pray for me…pray that we will be a good parent, mothers and fathers..as the next generations future lies in our hands. Hmmm… right now, I don’t know how my time as a mother one day will be, but at least I have the dream and hope to be a good one, a true mother. The one I always wish to be. Who knows, ill be better than Sofea Jane.heheh.( but thanks Sofea, u really inspire me..)

“..u wont know how big your capacity in loving someone, until u become a parent..then ull realise that u actually can really love a person that much, that big.. ”- quoted from one of the mother’s words in a parenting magazine ive read once, it’s actually sounded more nice and touching than this…but I have forgotten how actually she said it…=]

No comments: